Secret Things #5: Perks

February 16, 2014 - Week 10

One of our favorite things to do lately is add on "for two" to the end of statements. This goes for the normal "You're eating for two" all the way to the probably-more-related-to-cheating-than-pregnancy "I get a second roll of the dice because I'm rolling for two." It makes me laugh every time we use it. Sleeping for two. Walking for two. Showering for two. Sleeping some more for two. Being hungry for the fifth time in the day for two. And yes, rolling dice for two [it's excellent how I can't lose games when I'm pregnant due to the rolling for two rule!].

Winning games aside, there are also the benefits of Jason constantly doing all kinds of sweet things for me whenever I'm too sleepy or hungry or annoyed to do them myself. Since he can't do the baby growing himself [science and biology couldn't come through for us in time], he has declared he will do any other little thing possible that will make it easier for me. It's pretty nice. Yes, doing things for two definitely has its benefits.

But then there are the days, the moments, when I start to question if I am truly experiencing common For Two symptoms or if I am just suffering from a nocebo-like effect of being pregnant or if I am just using pregnancy to be extra lazy and gluttonous and lethargic.

I have what I have always considered an iron-like stomach. Nothing ever really affects it, ever. I cannot remember ever throwing up, not even once [I'm sure as a baby, I probably did... I just can't remember those times obviously.]. Jason tells me it is an unpleasant experience. I have no idea. Anyway, I figured this sturdy stomach of mine would be quite handy when it came to pregnancy and all of its stomach-related feelings.

In one way, so far, it has been nice:  If the odd feeling that comes and goes at random times is the dreaded "morning sickness," then I think my version of it is extremely mild compared to others I have heard about. Maybe twice has it ever been uncomfortable or unpleasant enough to affect my state of mind. Generally, it just causes a, "Huh, that's a... feeling. Interesting." The downside of having such a sturdy stomach and having never experienced a cruel case of nausea and vomiting is that I have no idea if the feeling I keep feeling is anything at all. I may just be hungry. Or have to go to the bathroom. Or maybe I'm just hungry again. Or maybe it could be some faint nausea? I have no reference point. So when it happens, all I can say is that my stomach feels funny. I believe I described it to Jason once as a "presence, like a smell in my stomach." It was a weird comparison. It was the only way I could think to word it. I have zero experiences with abdominal sensations! Sigh.

But really, so far, so good. With the exception of randomly deciding that what I wanted to eat 5 minutes ago is definitely not edible now and the funny feelings that come and go some days, "symptoms" really seems like an exaggerated word to describe my situation. And that is why I start entertaining the ideas I mentioned earlier, the possibility that I am not experiencing pregnancy symptoms but rather am giving into my normal desire to be lazy and lounge around all day eating things. Because, yes, some days [pre-pregnancy], napping and eating all day sounded like an excellent day. Until my sense of responsibility kicked in. Bah, responsibility.

So, humor me. Here are the possible explanations for the incessant napping and eating and napping and eating cycle of a pregnant Korean, ranked from best to worst:

  1. I am experiencing common pregnancy symptoms. [Makes sense, but sometimes I don't feel at all pregnant.]
  2. I am suffering from a nocebo-like effect of being pregnant. [Definitely within the realm of possibility, as it is well known that telling someone they're going to experience side effects or symptoms (regardless of the truth of the claim) can often influence whether they experience those side effects or symptoms.]
  3. I am using pregnancy as an excuse to give in to my lazy and lethargic side. [It is like a Get Out of Jail Free card. Who doesn't like and/or use those if you are lucky enough to draw it out of the Community Chest?! (Answer: A crazy person.)]

These are seriously all viable options.

Jason says I'm not allowed to entertain option 3, but I cannot help it. I wouldn't put it past myself.

Ok, fine. It is most likely number 1. But seriously, why do I want to nap all the time? The kpluBlet isn't doing anything yet, at least nothing strenuous enough that it should completely negate the 9 hours of sleep I got last night. And why am I getting hungry at 9 a.m., 11 a.m., 3 p.m., 7 p.m., and 11 p.m.? At this stage, "eating for two" really isn't a necessity yet, but try telling that to my stomach. I get really grumpy when I'm hungry. You've been warned.

So, honestly, this new exciting season has really only been filled with goodness so far. I get to eat things. I get to nap all the time. I get spoiled by Jason. I win all the games. All in the name of growing a person. Pregnancy is an excellent, excellent thing.

Who knew a tiny little kumquat-sized person would give so many awesome life perks?

Dear Tiny Little Half-Asian kpluBlet,

I hear you have little bendable limbs now. That's insane. I cannot wait for your little bendable limbs to be the actual cause of the funny sensations inside of me instead of all of this guesswork. I mostly just want to know that you're actually real. The idea that I'm growing a tiny little person inside my stomach still seems like a ridiculous claim at times.

This week, we have our first appointment and hopefully we'll be able to see you and all of your tiny little miraculous features. This week I get to find out if you are actually for real. Please be real. Please. If we see you this week, feel free to wave.

My excitement is only growing with each passing day. You have no idea.

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