Secret Things #2: Surprises

January 26th, 2014 - Week 7

I love surprises. I hate secrets. It is a terribly frustrating conundrum.

I love to be surprised. I want to be surprised. But I cannot stand not knowing what the surprise is. Here's my ideal situation:  Plan to surprise me, and I mean really really surprise me. Then, tell me there is a surprise. I will then pester you for hints about the surprise until... I guess the surprise. But! Do not tell me when I have correctly guessed the surprise. Instead, give a subtle eyebrow raise and then pretend [but not too well] that I was not even close to guessing correctly. Once I have come to the conclusion that I have managed to correctly guess the surprise, I will ask a few more clarifying questions for hints [some of them entirely unrelated to the answer I now 98% suspect is the true surprise], shout out jubilantly that I have cracked your surprise, and then settle back satisfied with my interrogation. You will then ask me to say what I think the surprise is and I will refuse to tell you and say that I am content to find out if I'm right when the Big Reveal happens. End of scenario. Until a few hours have passed. And then rinse and repeat.

This is how I do surprises. I love them. But I hate the not knowing part of it. I am pretty sure this is a key reason why I always read the last chapter of books first and look up football scores before I watch the game and read the series finale summary of a TV show before I am even halfway through the first season. I have an impatient soul and do not mind spoilers in the least. It is a bad combination.

However! I am getting off topic [can you get off topic before you really even get on the topic?]. Surprises. I love/hate being surprised, but I also love/hate doing the surprising. And obviously, the kpluBlet is my biggest surprise/secret to reveal... in 27 years. I want to tell the world, and yet apparently riding the dog like it's a small horse is FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT. Ahem.

So, to keep myself from bursting with this stupidly exciting news this early on, I have instead decided to focus all of this ridiculous energy into A) treasuring a secret that only Jason and I know and B) concocting brilliant ways for the Big Reveal to happen with our families. It needs to be brilliant as this will be Grandchild Uno on both the Millard and Vermette sides of the spectrum.

It's a difficult thing, coming up with a way to announce, "The world is about to become awesome!" Since most of Jason's family is nearby, we're trying to come up with ideas for an in-person announcement, but my family is all far away, so we have to think of an equally excellent from-a-distance announcement.

You always hear, "I better not find out about [big life event] via [impersonal communication medium of choice]!" But, I never thought to ask... What is your acceptable/preferred method of finding out? Obviously, in person is as good as it gets, but when you have to announce long distance... Hm.

The other day, we had to spend some Kohls Cash. We didn't really find anything we wanted/needed at the time, but we had to spend the $10 that day or it would be wasted. So we meandered into the baby section and...  Baby booties. Done. Purchased.

They are adorable. I want to put them on Puma, but Jason feels this would be a bad idea. Instead, we are probably going to send them to my family as part of their announcement. I will be sad to see them go. They are tiny knitted blue bears. Their names are Bumpy and Stumpy. I hope they fully comprehend the magnitude of their job. They are bearers [get it? get it?] of grand news. I am excited.

Anyway. Most likely, we will settle on a very not-at-all creative, "normal", and un-brilliant way of telling the news. And, most likely, both of our families already have at least a slight suspicion that an announcement such as this is in the making. But maybe, perhaps, we can take them unawares. Maybe, perhaps. And really, that's the best part of a surprise/secret.

Until then, the kpluBlet is just our little secret. Mine and Jason's*. It is a profoundly special thing.

Who knew a tiny little blue-berry-sized person could create such immense excitement?

Dear Tiny Little Half-Asian kpluBlet,

How I already adore you. I hope you have Jason's eyes. And my nose.

I hear your fingers and toes are already forming. Good job, little kpluBlet. Learn to wiggle them like a pro. I'll let you in on a little secret: The more you wiggle your hand toes and foot fingers, the harder it will be for your daddy to put on your socks and gloves. Trust me. He loves the challenge. So, wiggle away!

I await your arrival.

*Actually, the check-out man at Kohls may also be in on the secret...  He looked at the baby booties, looked at my feet, and then looked at the booties again. When he asked if we had a little one at home, I said, "Not yet." I think he figured it out. Sorry, families! 

No comments:

Post a Comment