5.22.2014

Food is so too a symptom.

Call me stupid, but I never imagined I would actually be able to see the kpluBlet moving around inside of me. I knew I would eventually be able to feel him. And I knew I would eventually be able to have Jason feel him. But I had absolutely no idea that I would be able to actually watch my stomach moving about like some kind of creepy monster movie. I feel like this was a major dropped-ball kind of thing on someone's part. I don't know who to blame yet.

Blame aside, this discovery has actually been one of my favorite parts of pregnancy so far. Seeing various parts of my stomach moving around, wiggling, and sometimes seemingly silhouetting a tiny little hand or foot [I know the level of detail really isn't there, but I have a good imagination] is crazy. There is most definitely a tiny person growing in there. Either that or I accidentally swallowed an iguana with a sugar high. Time will tell.

I am so grateful for how smoothly everything is just rolling along. At our last appointment, I believe the word "perfect" was used multiple times. Everything is perfect. Just the way we like it. Time is just gliding by so perfectly and normally [23.5 weeks down already!] that sometimes I worry September will be upon us and we will have completely forgotten to make any preparations for the kpluBlet's arrival. This would be very unlike Jason and me, as checklists and spreadsheets generally rule the day, but we have yet to really start any type of Welcome to the World planning.

I think our goal is to just take every aspect of this adventure as it comes. Jason is much better at carrying through with this mentality, but I think I am, for 98% of the days, doing a pretty swell job of it as well. I'm trying to not over think things. If there was ever a topic worthy of over thinking and over planning and over stressing about, I think it would be "How will I not ruin this tiny person's life?" But honestly, I have come to the conclusion that this is not an actual potential outcome and [even if it is] I truly am not worried about it at all.

The kpluBlet will be clothed, fed, and loved. If he doesn't walk until he's three or get out of diapers until he's five or learn to read until he's seven... who cares? He will be a perfectly functional human being by the time he strikes out on his own. [And even if he is still in diapers at eighteen, who will know/care?] Sure, some of our methods and timing and goals may come across as a bit abnormal over the next couple decades, but I promise they will not spell ruin and disaster and Life of Sadness to our little guy. Promise.

This seems like an appropriate time to mention my excitement about this book:  Experimenting with Babies - 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid. Several exclamation points are an adequate expression of my giggly insides. Jason, on the other hand, has already commenced his version of parenthood prep in an entirely different field:  Introductory Calculus for Infants. This is seriously the extent of our preparations for the kpluBlet so far. We are going to be excellent parents. Seriously.

Other mentionables:
  • The most I have ever weighed was either freshman or sophomore year at ORU at 142 pounds. It was such a rude awakening that the exact number has been stuck in my head ever since. If/when the "normal weight gain during pregnancy" of 25-35 pounds happens to me, I will just about reach that weight again, but this time, it will be way less gross to me. [On the grossness scale, Saga >>>>>>>>>> pregnancy.] I currently have gained 12 pounds. It is impossible to know whether it is all in my stomach or spread out throughout the lands because Jason is a terrible source of opinion in this matter. Conversations like the following often occur.  Me:  "I look like a whale." Jason:  "You don't look like a whale." Me:  "Then what do I look like?"  Jason:  "You look like a lady who is pregnant." Me:  "No, what kind of fat animal do I look like?" Jason:  "Maybe a red panda?"
  • Symptoms I have not experienced [for which I feel extremely lucky/blessed/proud]:
    • Vomiting.
    • Heartburn.
    • Dizziness.
    • Leg cramps.
    • Trouble sleeping.
    • ALL OF THE NASTY STUFF.
  • Symptoms I have experienced from time to time:
    • Extreme hunger.
    • Needing to pee every time I get settled into bed.
    • Needing to pee every time I get settled at my desk.
    • Needing to pee every time I pretend to get settled into bed [ha! gotcha, kpluBlet!].
    • The desire to waddle.
    • "Let me nap or I'll be grumpy!"
    • "Puma, stop making biscuits on my uterus!"
    • FOOD.  
  • Vacation was lovely, though much too short. We read many books, mini-golfed many holes, shuffled on many boards, shod many horses [Jason's ringers were a sight to behold], and ate many, many things. Is it time for our next vacation yet? Le sigh.
  • Mario and Luigi are in full summer sprout now. Sometime this year I fully expect Luigi to officially become taller than me. I have no idea what Mario's life plan is, unless he is aspiring to become an evermore bush. If so, he is doing a splendid job of it. 
  • Even with my 28th birthday looming on the horizon, I have noticed a significantly less amount of "Oh this is depressing, I'm sooo oooold"-ism lately. I know for a fact that this is due to the long-awaited kpluBlet. It sounds rather silly, I know, but finally getting to have our little half-Asian has completely [for now] removed the sporadic feelings of Getting Old Blues. Life is no longer passing me by! Life as I have dreamed it is right around the corner! Being 28 and getting little sleep and changing diapers and cleaning up spit up and searching for patience and having 3-person family time is my very realistic idea of awesome. Life is good. I do not feel old anymore. Hooplah!

Dear Tiny Little Half-Asian kpluBlet,

I love you. 

You are soon to be the apple of my eye. For now, though, you may settle on being the apple of my belly. I know you like apples because anytime I eat one you dance. It is the weirdest feeling, but in oh such a good way. 

I suppose now is a good time to warn you about something:  I have great plans for you. I know every little detail of my plans will most likely not work out as planned, but that's okay. We will make beautiful messes. We will laugh at my plans. We'll just roll with the punches, have fun, and love life. It's going to be so much fun to be your mom!

Keep up the good work, you tugger of heart strings!

Jason says food isn't a symptom. But these panda cubs and I wholeheartedly disagree.

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