assisted

So, today I was having some trouble writing a blog. I have my thoughts, but it's hard to get them on "paper" in a way that anyone would want to read. For example, I wrote:

Baby room preparations are in full swing. We've been clearing stuff out of our extra room (since it's not extra anymore!) to make room for baby stuff. We've been getting baby stuff to put in the space made by clearing out stuff. We've been building furniture, or mostly just partially building furniture until we notice some of the pieces are damaged so we have to have replacements sent. Still, the room is shaping up. We have a crib, a rocking chair, one of those storage cube things. That last one is actually built completely. I think we've got the layout all planned. It's starting to really look like a baby room. Which is good, since we're less than three months away, now. Yikes.

It's not bad information, but oof. You have to slog your way through it with a snow plow. Sharayah, being the loving wife that she is, volunteered to help me through this difficult time. In her words, "Here, you rub my feet while I write your blog for you." So, I rubbed her feet and she wrote a blog for me. The real plan was for me to just take each paragraph or topic and rewrite it as my own blog post. It would just serve as a framework or outline to get me going. When I read it, though, I realized it was my best blog ever, and I couldn't just erase it and rewrite it. So I'm leaving everything she wrote, and I'll add in some commentary/detail after each bit. (Her parts are block-indented if you can't tell who is who just by the writing.)

I'm going to be a dad in under 3 months. I have a lot of jokes to start storing up. I'm going to be the funniest dad. How many jokes can you learn in 3 months? How soon can you toss a baby high into the air? Or when can he ride on my shoulders and use my ears to steer? One thing I already know:  I'm never going to "let" him win at anything. It will be good for his character. Plus, since he's going to be Asian, there will soon be a time where he will be better at everything anyway... I might as well get my winning in now.

Ok, well a lot of that is solid. I'm not doing so well at storing up jokes (I keep forgetting them, I can only seem to keep 3 or 4 in my head at a time). Still, I think they'll come back to me at opportune times. That's how dad jokes work. As far as not being able to win at anything because my son is Asian, well... I'll have to get back to you on that in a few years. I sort of thought if I had blood relatives who were Asian, that would make me part Asian and help me compete a little better. We'll see.

My hand is nearly as big as kp's foot. I think she has a dwarf foot. But then, I haven't yet seen the kpluBlet's foot. His foot is going to turn my brain into mush.

This is actually a combination of tiny kp feet and large me hands. It's hard for me to imagine walking on something only an inch longer than my hand and not falling flat on my face. I'm not sure how she functions, really. The tiny kpluBlet feet may put hers into perspective, though. We bought some baby socks. I'm not sure a human foot can fit in them. How small would the toes be for the feet to be that small? It makes me dizzy.

Speaking of mush brain, I went to a math conference at Villanova. I met a Canadian. I ate chocolate desserts every day. I took naps during math talks. I had my picture taken with my hero (and an Asian guy). I drove through a lot of traffic. I don't like traffic.

The Villanova conference was actually really good. I presented my research and it was well received. I met some cool mathematicians (some of them famous, but when I say famous I don't mean that normal people have heard of them...) and heard a lot of good math talks. I definitely did not take any naps there, although I was completely exhausted by the end of the week. I'm really glad my talk was on the first day when everyone was still alert. By the last day everyone was so tired they barely seemed to be paying attention anymore.

My adviser had someone take a picture of him and his two students (me and the Asian guy). Sharayah found this very amusing, apparently. I'm not sure why it's so funny to her.

The traffic was intense. It was the week that the I-495 bridge was condemned unexpectedly. That just happened to be the route I was supposed to take. Monday I drove both ways on that bridge, and Tuesday it was closed because they thought it might fall down at any minute. It's still closed. I'm not sure how they plan to fix it. Anyway, the ~45 minute drive took about 2 hours each morning, which was rough since the conference started at 9. I think Sharayah summed it up well: I don't like traffic.

All of these adult activities looming on the horizon makes the future seem gigantic. There are many decisions to be made. Babies, jobs, homes. At this very moment, we are planning our lives for the next... who knows how many years. No big deal. Our life is going to be grand, no matter what all the little details look like right now. There are 3 doors in front of us:  Behind one is a brand new car. Behind another is a picket-fenced cottage. And behind the third door is a goat. Which will we choose? Luckily, it doesn't matter since even the goat would thrill the kp. Win win win.

Yep, we have a lot going on right now. Figuring out where I'm going to work, where we're going to live, which is where we'll be raising our kids. The 3 doors are supposed to be a reference to the Monty Hall problem, I think. I'd say you're always supposed to switch doors, but if you actually don't mind winning the goat then you should maybe stick with your first choice.

So that's the blog Sharayah wrote for me, and the extra thoughts from me that it inspired. For the most part, she hit the nail on the head. I guess she sort of knows me pretty well and understands what I'm thinking about and going through. What a cool lady.

Dear tiny little half-Asian kpluBlet,
Really soon you'll be here. It's the weirdest combination of scary and exciting that I'll get to meet you so soon. I hope you like having your feet played with, because I'm going to count your toes a hundred times. When you're big enough, you better believe I'm going to toss you way up high and catch you. I hope it'll be one of your favorite games. Do me a favor, once we start playing more competitive games (you know, where someone wins and someone loses), maybe let me win a few from time to time?
While you still live in your mom, we're doing the best we can to make a good place for you to live once you get out. I can't wait until you're here!
Love,
Dad