state of mind

<begin ramble>
Welp. The transcription world has been pretty consistently frustrating for the past few weeks. Jason has been rising early to teach his summer calculus class while still banging his head on his desk routinely in the afternoon about his research. The black cat graces us each morning with his pleasant piles of presents outside the litter box. Ants continue to investigate our apartment's entryway. The gray cat sits on our cutting board and contaminates our vegetables with his long hairs. I have a tiny red spot on my chin that seems as noticeable as a volcano spewing crocodiles. People have terrible driving habits. My hair is an untamed jungle. People are inconsiderate. Jason's hair is a desert without an oasis. People are illogical.

Sometimes it all builds up to the point of the tiniest thing seeming insurmountably aggravating. I want to gripe. Complain. Cry. Be angry. Quit. Curl up in a ball. Just make everything go away.

But I know deep inside [and really, I don't have to dig that deep inside] that my current perception of the world isn't all that accurate. I know life is good. It is. I just need to reorient my head.

I may need to put in some extra hours in the evenings to make up for the sparse daytime production, but I never come up short by the end of the week so I just need to quit stressing over it. Jason has to put in a lot of hours, but he is making progress towards his PhD and that's all he needs to feel responsible for, and with the close of yet another summer session, X number of students now have a better understanding [if not appreciation] of calculus because of him. Panther is an animal who just wanders about our house [yes, Jason and I both consider animals living freely in our place as just a very fascinating thing, for whatever reason]. While we do have ants visit us from time to time, we also have a praying mantis who lives on our screen door  who eats other gross bugs for us. Win. [Though I do not advise watching the consumption process as it really grossed me out.] Puma is an adorable fluff monster who purrs me to sleep every night. Red spots disappear; volcanoes spewing crocs do not. We are alive and safe. Chopping my own hairs is a joy. More opportunities to practice kindness should be met with a smile. I like Jason's head. Illogical opinions or actions do not have to affect my logical choices.

And really... Life is good. We have had absolutely delicious meals of late and our refrigerator is stocked unbelievably full of tasty things. Each mealtime is exciting and just thinking of it makes my mouth water. We have adorable miniature calendars that not only make me happy when I see them and when I get to mark a day or task off but which also make me happy because they have added some much needed routine to our lives in various little ways. Our moods can be easily lifted by a spontaneous waltz around our apartment, some time spent lying on the floor, or [for me] letting my arms and legs dangle freely [this is one of those "you have to be there" kind of things] or spinning or spooning or pretending to be choo-choo training in the dark. We have our plans and our spreadsheets and our bottles of randomness and our laughter and our health and our peace of mind.

Life is good, and my personal goal is to minimize my lapses into the negative world of complaining. It really is just a state of mind and one that I have full control over. Nothing comes from griping. It's a complete waste of time. There is good if I choose to see it.
<end ramble>

It all depends on how you look at it.

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