foreshadowing

I go through weird phases.

One particular thing that I phase through every few years or so [and more often when I was younger] is my handwriting. This was much more noticeable in my pre-college years as I did much more hand writing than keyboard writing. I loved writing terribly thought out things just for the sake of going through the physical motions of writing. [There may also be some kind of link between this and my silly infatuation with pens/pencils/other office supplies...]  I would often deliberately change certain aspects of my handwriting just because one day it struck me to do so, and I would consistently use it until my brain said otherwise. It may be hard to visualize the examples that I'm about to awesomely bullet-point, but... do your best.

• Use a large lowercase rounded Y as a capital Y.
• Connect the large lowercase rounded Y to the next letter.
• Use a rounded lowercase Y.
• Use a sharp lowercase Y.
• Connect lowercase Y's to the next letter.
• Don't connect lowercase Y's to the next letter.
• Use a rounded capital W.
• Use a rounded lowercase W.
• Use a capital U with no tail.
• Use a lowercase U with no tail.
• Use a spurred capital G.
• Use a curved tail on a lowercase Q.
• Use a sharp tail on a lowercase Q.
• Use a lemur tail on a lowercase Q.
• Use a lemur tail on a lowercase G.
• Use a rounded bottom lowercase T.
• Use a straight-lined lowercase T.
• Use a cursive capital I when writing print.
• Use a print capital I when writing cursive.
• Connect lowercase X's to the next letter.
• Strike through Z's.
• Strike through 7's.
• Strike through 0's.
• Don't strike through anything.
• Add head and feet to 1's.
• Use rounded 2's.
• Use sharp 2's.
• Make 2's look like Z's.
• Only use cursive.
• Only use print.
• Only use small caps.

And I am fully aware that this is an entirely incomplete list. But it gives you an idea of the phases my handwriting went through. I wish I could say that I now find this type of thing beyond silly and "What in the world was I thinking?" but... I am afraid this would be an untruth. I still like doing this. I like taking one little thing and changing it and seeing what happens. I would test run a couple changes at a time for a few months and then add in something new or revert back to something old and keep going. 

Rest assured, I generally got rid of the stupid ideas [i.e. lemur tails].

Looking through pages of inane teenage writings, I find it entertaining [probably more than I should] to see how differently my handwriting style looked from one year to the next because of these little tweaks. I am weird. I accept this. We will be better friends if you accept this, too.

Just FYI, there were also some unwritten rules in my head regarding changes to my handwriting. To name a few...

• NEVER MAKE 5's LOOK LIKE S's.
• NEVER DOT I's WITH HEARTS.
• NEVER HAVE LOWERCASE LETTERS CAP HEIGHT.
• NEVER MAKE SNOWMEN 8's.
• THAT IS NOT A SIGNATURE.

And against all logic, I am still a firm believer in my number 1 rule of handwriting:  The tinier, the better. At this, I am a pro. I am a handwriting fiend. The end.*

Moving on. Phase 2.

I like names in general. I dislike certain names in the specific. I can become rather obsessed with names that catch my fancy. When I was younger [oh my bovine, has it really been 14 years?], I had an out-of-control list of names that I really liked. But what's one to do with all of these names and no real people to connect them with? Easy peasy:  Write a story with 50+ "main" characters. This, folks, is how good writing is born.

I had a problem, however. As time went on, my awesome names started sounding less than awesome. And if I no longer liked the name as much, I no longer cared about the character as much. What's a writer to do then? Peas! Just demote them to become a secondary character! Ah, writers have so much power. Ah, my "likes" are so phase-prone.

But here I am now. Nearly an a-dult. Murried off to a mathman. My childhood stories now reduced to gathering dust under my nightstand. But I still like names. I constantly have a running list of "favorite" names in my head, and about once a week, I'll randomly ask Jason, "What do you think of the name ___?" in the hopes that he will validate my current consideration for the Elite List of Names.

I don't think he understands the game. But he generally humors me with his input.

So, here I am now. My Elite List waxes and wanes, bringing in new awesomes and kicking out the what-was-I-thinking?'s on a semi-regular basis. I need to solidify this list somehow. Instead of story-ing them to life, I have decided that I will rename the Elite List to now and forever more be called The Future Half-Asians. This list just became real, yo.

Sure, this means Thaddeus is no longer a candidate, as well as Methuselah and Jupiter Moon!, but I have gradually come to terms with this. I do not think I would ever deliberately invoke a lifetime of mockery upon my child just for the sake of my passing entertainment. [And even if I would (I wouldn't!), I have Jason who most definitely has enough mercy (and final say) for the both of us.]

With that said, however, sometimes my brain explodes with all of the tantalizing options out there [only correctly spelled, symbol-free, and pasture-fed names are eligible, of course]. A conundrum that Jason and I have encountered is that we tend to like first and second name combinations that sound extremely... ethnic? cultural? tastily flavored from an identifiable region? Whatever the reason, I am afraid [and unbelievably entertained] that our kids might end up with names that would give me another option for family photo arrangement:  Country of Nominal Origin.

It is late and we have had an extremely fun but exhausting date day, so I know that my brain has jumped tracks and now this post is not very cohesive and is really rambling and seemingly pointless but there's nothing I can really do about that at this point so I suppose I should just stop the madness ASAP. Just know, there was a point to all of this, and I think it had to do with knowing when something is "good forever" or just "good for the moment." It's hard to say. The point may have been something even more vague. I'm sleepy.

You know you want one. A pig pillow bed, that is. Oh, and the kitten.

*Despite being Asian, I have yet to try my hand at inscribing poetry on grains of rice, but if you disregard this tiny [ha!] fact, "I am a pro" still stands true.