how it happened with a girl

Apparently the new tradition is that I make the new baby post on the first birthday and combine it with the one-picture-from-each-week-for-the-first-year post. So, here is Aviyah's "how it happened" and first birthday post.

We didn't tell anyone we were having a girl. On the one hand, Vermettes were 16 boys to 1 girl for the last 4 generations (which is as far back as anyone remembers). So, most people would assume we were having a boy. On the other hand, it was the first one where we decided to keep it a secret, so some would assume that was *because* we finally had a girl. Never mind that we planned to keep it a secret before we knew it was a girl.

December 2022
Sharayah went to her anatomy scan ultrasound. We figured we were having a boy, but we decided to do a fun reveal for the kids anyway. Sharayah got some red grapes (for girl) and blueberries (for boy) and put eleven of them under eleven cups. There would be five of one and six of the other. The winner was the baby's gender. As the boys picked cups, I was a little disappointed that it looked like some of the suspense would be lost: we were mostly picking blueberries. I thought there were six blueberries, and it looked like through bad luck we were going to pick all six way before we picked the five red grapes. I thought it would have been more fun if we got to five and five and only then did we find the sixth blueberry.

However, we started to get lucky. After blueberry number five, we kept getting grapes. They just kept coming, and suddenly we were down to the last cup. I thought that was that. I was happy we got to keep it suspenseful for the boys, but I thought I knew the last one was a blueberry. I was completely shocked to see the red grape show up. I think I had to ask Sharayah several times if it was right, if we were really having a girl. Then, the difficult secret keeping began.

April 23, 2023
My parents came to town again to help with the kids during baby week. It was the Sunday before final exam week at work for me. I had once again lined up back-up proctors for all of my exams in case the baby came early. We were on our way to one last zoo day before we'd become homebodies for a while with a new baby. When we were almost there, poor Eli seemed droopy and sad. He hadn't eaten his bagel breakfast. He threw up all over himself in his car seat. It was so sad. We were so close to the zoo, and we didn't want to disappoint the big kids, so we decided to try to go anyway and see if he felt better. We bought him a zoo shirt (his backup clothes in the diaper bag were too small because we never remember to update them), put him in the stroller, and tried to make the best of it. He didn't perk up much, but he made it through ok.

Sadly, at home he threw up several more times. Any hopes that he had just been carsick or something were dashed. He was a sick baby, right as we were preparing to have another baby. A very tough day and night.

April 24, 2023
I had to go to work since the baby wasn't coming yet. Eli had a better day, but still threw up once. The other boys still seemed fine. We were holding on and hoping everyone could be healthy by birthday. Due date was 5 days away. Still a tough night with Eli. Then Lucas threw up overnight. It was spreading.

April 25, 2023
Never mind. The other three boys were now throwing up and various amounts of sad and droopy. So many buckets strategically placed around the couch where they sat all day. Thankfully, Eli seemed a little better and wasn't throwing up today. We had some hope that it was maybe only a 2 or 3 day thing, at least the throwing up part.

April 26, 2023
All the boys were varying amounts of lethargic all day. Eli still seemed so forlorn and weak. My parents had been keeping their distance just to be sure they wouldn't catch anything and be unable to help on baby day, but they came over today. Oh, yeah, maybe you forgot, but this is the baby post, not the sick kid post. The due date was the 29th, but overnight Sharayah had begun to feel early signs of labor (we also finished the pre-baby puzzle, which is usually a big sign of baby time). No contractions, but she thought it might be the day. I used that plus the boys all still being droopy as an excuse to stay home since I only had office hours (no exams).

Not much happened on the baby front all day. The boys sat around and we tried to keep them happy. That evening, some of the boys seemed to be perking up a little. But near (early) bedtime, poor Eli was just lying on the floor of the living room and had an explosive diaper disaster. He was so upset and was just lying there. It was a horrible end to a day. It was not the lead up to baby day that we wanted.

Everyone was exhausted, but of course babies come when they're ready. After feeling vaguely labor-ish all day, Sharayah finally started feeling regular contractions around 6. Since the boys were worn out and sick anyway, I started getting them put to bed. Our normal bedtime routine is over an hour of getting pajamas on, brushing about a hundred teeth, reading books, singing songs, hugging, and going to sleep. It's a big job and a team effort. We had sent my parents back to their hotel to eat and rest up in case we needed to call in the middle of the night. Sharayah's contractions out of nowhere were ramping up too much for her to help. I rushed to get all the kids quickly to bed. I had them down near 7 and found Sharayah in the late stages telling me her water broke at about 7 while I was putting them down. Contractions had picked up into imminent-baby range as soon as her water broke. She was filling the tub with water. I started trying to help her through contractions and grab random stuff in between.

Our midwife, Jessica, arrived at about 7:15. Between contractions, I was still frantically gathering towels and I forget what else. At 7:20, Sharayah started pushing. She is so good at the baby part. Aviyah's shoulder briefly got stuck and I was so thankful Jessica was there in time. Aviyah joined us at 7:24. I had barely had time to do any of the various things I had planned to do to get ready during early labor. It all happened so crazy fast. Sharayah had gotten her quick baby, home birth, and girl all at once. (I finally believed we really had a girl.) I texted my parents to let them know all was good and they could sleep peacefully and come back in the morning. Jessica did all the new-baby-checking and we settled in to hold and stare at our new perfect #5. All the awfulness of the week seemed not to matter anymore. She was a perfect baby.

I can't tell you how much we did or didn't sleep that night or for the next week, but I know that newborn time was amazing as always. Sharayah likes to say she was/is a perfect baby/the best baby. At risk of offending the others (we love them all equally), she is the easiest at a lot of baby things. She is a happy potato. She's so sweet and easy-going. She loves her people so much. It's been an amazing year seeing her grow and learn and love her brothers, and seeing them grow and love her. All the boys love being a big brother to a little sister. They all show their love for her in their own ways.

52 photos for 52 weeks

Dear Aviyah,
Happy both birthdays! You've been such an amazing baby. We love how sweet and joyful you are. Watching your glee at watching your brothers is the best. You help our house be so full of love. I never knew how much I needed a daughter, but I know I wouldn't be me if I wasn't your dad. You make me feel a whole other set of feelings I didn't know about. I love you desperately, and being dad to you and your awesome brothers gives my life so much joy.
Love,
Dad