sound bites

Some points to consider:

1. It has been five months since our last post.

2. There is nothing we can do about that now.

3. I want to make dumplings.

With the end of summer upon us and the start of a new work semester for Jason and a pleasingly squishy baby to carry around all day and night, it is clearly an excellent time to attempt blogging more frequently than every five months. An easy toe-dip-into-the-pool post is deserved though, so I shall yet again empty my phone's notepad of all the hilarity and weirdness that I have collected over the past eon and call it a night.

May I see you again soon, ol' blog, ol' friend.

**********

Lucas: "Numberetical. Like alphabetical."

*Sebi fussing at Finley*

Jason: "Finley, play nicely. Ugh, I mean Sebi. Finley, you're fine. I meant, Finley, play nicely."

Me: "You mean Sebi."

Jason: "Agh, there's too many of them."

Finley: "Dear God, thank you for my food. Thank you for red, blue, and pink. Thank you for the implexus I cried about. Thank you for the A book. Thank you for everything in our house. Amen."

Finley: "That's a watermelon."

Jason: "It looks like a watermelon, but I think it's a ball."

Finley: "Wucas says it's a watermelon."

Jason: "I don't think they're throwing a watermelon. They're throwing a ball."

Finley: "But Wucas told me it's a watermelon."

Me: "Lucas doesn't know everything, Finley. Daddy knows a lot of things too. Who do you think knows more, Daddy or Lucas?"

Finley: "Wucas."

Finley: "What if Wucas was a grown-up but he still wore wittle shoes?"

Me: "Careful, Finley, don't fall off the bed."

Finley: "Why?"

Finley: "I'm making a jump house."

Me: "You're making a what?"

Lucas: "He means a bounce house."

Me: "Something smells gross."

Finley: "Mommy, what smells is the AIR."

Me: "Well, yes, but-."

Finley: "BAD air."

Finley: "All of the songs inside my head escaped, except one. It's called Let It Go."

Jason: "I may not be as good as a potato."

Finley: "Ooh, is that a radio tower?"

Lucas: "No, that's actually the Eiffel Tower. Though, I guess, they DO use the Eiffel Tower to send radio signals so... you're kinda right!"

Finley, eating the head off of a goldfish: "Look, now he is a [gibberish] to eat other fish!"

Me: "A what?"

Finley: "A [gibberish]."

Me: "A bow?"

Finley: "No, a [gibberish]!"

Me: "A burp?"

Finley: "No, a... A thing that you can pick food out of."

Me: "Ohhh, a BOWL."

Finley, swimming the headless goldfish around in the air: "Yeah, a [gibberish]. I made him into a [gibberish] so he can just scoop other fish right into his belly."

Lucas: "I would MUCH rather have a salad than a potato."

Me: "Don't play with the sponge, buddy."

Finley: "Why? Is it full of boogers?"

Finley, completely out of nowhere: "I'm not a pirate. I don't have only one eye." 

Finley, referring to Sebastian: "He's like poopy crocodile." 

Lucas: "Mommy, I realized something. If you do nothing, you're actually doing something. It may seem impossible, but it's true."

Finley: "Mommy, this food is so good that I don't even need a spoonful of applesauce for me to eat it."

Finley: "A baby is driving the car."

Me: "A baby? What makes him a baby?"

Finley: "He has short legs and short pants."

Lucas: "Three yes votes is more than one no vote."

Finley: "Mommy, why is there a turtle statue up there?"

Me: "Oh, that's actually from a real turtle! It's a real turtle shell. The turtle probably died and someone cleaned out the shell and kept it."

Finley: "...so when you die, your back falls off?"

Me: "So what were you doing before breakfast?"

Lucas: "Legos. I am building someone for my monster. And then they will play Build A Baby."

Me: "...how do you play that?"

Lucas: "Well, it's a two-player game."

Me: "Right..."

Lucas: "And the monsters take turns building a baby, alternating one piece at a time."

Finley: "I made a new friend today. Doggy Egg. He's my new friend."

Finley, discussing how big the bed is: "Only two humans and one kid can fit in here." 

Jason: "Do you know the difference between a son and a daughter?"

Finley: "Yes, a sun is brighter than a daughter." 

Lucas, trying to define persecution: "It's when you get your head cut off." 

Finley: "I'm trying not to cry, but my belly really wants to." 

Finley: "I'm a team player, but everyone else are just players."

Finley: "Only 630 sides can fit in this bed. So all the people in the world can fit in this bed, except God."

Finley, finishing his pillow fort: "Wucas, look at my castle!"

Lucas: "Wow, it's so big. Let's knock it down!"

Finley: "No, I don't want you to knock it down."

Lucas: "But it would be fun! ...don't you need to relax? You just did all this work..."

Finley: "I did do a lot of work..."

Lucas: "Then just lay down here... And! Topple topple!" 

Jason: "How old do you think Mommy is?"

Finley: "Maybe ten?"

Jason: "Older than that."

Finley: "Thirty?"

Jason: "Oh that's really close. Try again."

Finley: "SIXTY?" 

Finley: "Is God bigger than a house?"

Lucas: "Yes, God is bigger than a house. God is bigger than a whale even."

Finley: "I knew that already."

Jason: "You big dummy."

Me: "You just called me a dummy. On Valentine's day!"

Jason: "No... Valentine's isn't until tomorrow."

Finley: "Mommy, did you know there are electrical socket eels?"

Me: "There are what?"

Finley: "There are regular eels and then there are electrical socket eels! Did you even know that?"

Finley: "Now that I put on my underwear, I will put my short sleeve pants on."

Finley: "My dessert is really hungry."

Finley: "Gigantic is number."

Lucas: "No, it's not."

Finley: "Yes, it is! Gigantic is a number."

Lucas: "Then what number comes after gigantic?"

Finley: "Gigantic and big."

Lucas: "Then what number comes before gigantic?"

Finley: "A billion."

Lucas: "No, Finley, a magic trick is doing something other people can't usually do. Like... here's a magic trick. Close your eyes, Finley. And don't open them until I tell you. Okay, open them. Look, Big Bear is gone!"

Finley: "Wow."

Lucas: "Okay, but now close your eyes. Don't peek. Okay, open them! Big Bear reappeared!"

Finley: "That's a pretty good magic trick. A magic trick is like hide-and-seek?"

Lucas: "Noo...not really. It's-."

Finley: "Let me do a magic trick! Close your eyes."

Lucas: "Okay..."

Finley: "Now open them!"

Lucas: "Oh! Chubby is GONE!"

Finley: "Now you have to find him!"

Lucas: "But I thought this was a magic trick. You have to make him come back now."

Finley: "No, it's hide-and-seek. You have to find him, Wucas." 

Finley: "Did you know that sometimes M says muh and sometimes M says am?"

Me: "Huh. Tell me what you mean by that."

Finley: "M usually says muh like... 'moo.' But if it comes after an I, then it says 'am,' like in 'I'm lost' but you read it 'I AM lost.' See?"

Finley: "There's a dead bug on the toilet seat."

Me: "Can you get a piece of toilet paper and pick it up and throw it out?"

Finley: "No! Ahhh! It's moving! Help!"

Lucas, after telling us someone from Italy holds the world record for most kids (69): "I don't know why Italy holds so many world records."

Me: "I don't know. What other world records do they hold?"

Lucas: "The man who balanced the most ice cream scoops, 71."

Jason: "I bet you read that on the world record page of your facts book, huh?"

Lucas: "No. That was on the ice cream page."

Jason: "We'll have to teach him how to drive..."

Finley: "You just have to turn the wheel!"

Lucas: "I'm going to wear a blue shirt with my blue shorts, and I even have on blue underwear!"

Finley: "So, you're just a blue blob?"

Jason: "I'm pretty sure you will feel a lot better once you're not in a dark bathroom."

Lucas: "My robot is going to have SO many sharp teeth."

Me: "Sharp or shark?"

Lucas: "Those are the same."

Me: "No, sharP or sharK?"

Lucas, leaving the room: "P."

Jason: "All shark teeth are sharp teeth, but not all sharp teeth are shark teeth."

Lucas, running back into the room: "Actually, scientists have discovered that SOME shark teeth are NOT sharp. So."

Finley: "Oooh! My own set of THESE!"

Lucas: "What are they?"

Finley: "I don't know!"

Finley: "If you love Eli as much as you can, he will never burst. NEVER." 

Lucas: "Mommy, Mommy, I told you one thing about this morning but I forgot to tell you a very important thing."

Me: "What?"

Lucas: "We made up underwear songs!"

Finley, defining teamwork: "Building something hard with a bunch of friends."

Finley, starting to take the corner pieces off of his newly finished puzzle: "Do you want to take off the corners now?"

Me: "I don't, but it looks like you do."

Finley: "I was asking myself."

Finley, doing an Olympics gymnastics routine

Me: "Wow, you landed well."

Finley: "Yes, I did. I landed straightly on my butt." 

Lucas: "This Lego man is prepared for anything."

Finley: "Is he prepared for dragons and monsters and snakes surrounding him with pokey things and tails sticking out of their heads? That's the most scariest I could think of."

Lucas: "Yes."

Finley: "But is he prepared for the most pokiest, leafiest, bee-surround-iest tree?"

Lucas: "Yes."

Lucas, when he's supposed to be sleeping: "Daddy? Daddy! I have a question for you to answer."

Jason: "What?"

Lucas: "What exactly are hiccups and where do they come from?"

Jason: "...let's save that for when it's not nighttime."