Life would make an awesome line graph. More than a few times, I've considered trying it but have always forgotten about the idea. Tracking the ups and downs of a person's life over the span of a year (realistically) or 10 years (unrealistically) would be neat. Sure, it would probably be difficult to consistently and accurately rate your life. And sure, you probably couldn't compare your specific graph to someone else's graph (which removes one of the cool factors of line graphs, as mentioned above) since their view of life would probably not be on the same scale as your own. But still... I think the end result would be interesting.
I think it's fair to say that this year would have made an interesting graph.
My grandmother passed away this past week. Unlike last year when my grandfather died, Jason and I were able to go to both the wake and the funeral. The wake was held at the same funeral home, something I felt was a bit... uncomfortable. If Papa's funeral had been more distant instead of just being a year ago, I don't think I would have thought much about it. But since that wasn't the case, having it in the same location just made me think of both deaths instead of just the one. Unpleasant. On the flipside, the ceremony (is that what it's called?) was held at the same church as one of my cousin's weddings.
The past 2 days have been a little odd, I feel like. I fluctuated between pushing down any feelings of sadness and just feeling... neutral. She'd lived a good, pretty full life, and she had been in a nursing home for the last few years as well. Really, I felt the most emotion for my mom and my aunt. Losing both parents so close together has to be hard. I guess I also briefly entertained the guilt that comes with not having seen my grandmother in such a long time, the same going for my grandfather last year. Luckily, when Amber died in April, I didn't have that issue. In fact, I remember being happy that we'd gotten to see each other much more up here in Delaware than we ever did while we all lived in Tulsa (for whatever reasons). It was nice that amidst all the terribly sad thoughts, there was a happy one.
I don't know. Sadness came and went the past couple of days. I honestly tried not to think about or dwell on the sad stuff for too long since I really didn't feel up to crying. Is that terrible? I greatly dislike crying and try to prevent it whenever possible. Unfortunately, I think I'm a sympathetic crier. I don't always have to have an emotional connection to something for me to cry about it as long as several others are crying about it. Yes, there's a chance that it also has to do with the fact that I'm emotionally involved with the person(s) crying and that that's what triggers the welling up and such... But still, whatever the reason, it's the most disconcerting characteristic ever. I feel like there wasn't as much crying this time around anyway. I might be wrong. I think Papa's passing away was so much more unexpected than Nana's, which made it harder to accept. Anyway...
Line graphs. I like the idea of plotting one's life on a graph. I will probably never get around to doing so, but I like the idea. I would average a day's ups and downs and give an overall number between -25 and +25. I think the resulting graph of a given year would inevitably have multiple negative bumps along the neutral baseline, and probably 2 or 3 seemingly-mountainous negative hills, but anyone looking at the entire graph as a whole would immediately know my life is an incredibly blessed and happy one. I have the best husband I could have ever asked for (seriously, how did so much good get packed into one man?), I have an incredible family (consisting of both Millards and Vermettes), and I can honestly say I have no dreams or desires that are out of reach. God is good.
On another note, Jarred drove home with us from New Jersey yesterday and stayed with us overnight. It was an entertaining 3ish hour ride (tip: the non-toll-road route from NJ to DE during traffic time is not advisable) to say the least.
Oh yes, and the Starke-Stark wedding is coming up next weekend. We are trying to figure out our travelling plans. Sometimes I'm just terrible at plans...
After being out of town overnight for the funeral, Puma was quite a happy little fellow come bedtime last night. The happiness seen below is not the actual happiness but merely an example:
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