This will be a story that may seem quite silly or cheesy or overly dramatic to most, but to me it's a cool story of hope [and the eventual fulfillment of that hope] from the most unlikely of sources.
Last year, we knew we wanted to try for the sixth squishy addition to our family. With the last three being born within a week of the same time of year [April 26-May 2], making almost exactly two-year gaps between them, I had in my head that we would just continue to plan for something similar this time around as well. It is an excellent age gap as well as the perfect time of year to get to know a newcomer [what with Jason being home all summer to help out]. So, we mathed it out, gave some wiggle room on either side of our "ideal" time, and got the plan rolling [TMI?].
The plan refused to roll. Each month we were met with a "nope, not this month." And, I know it will sound absolutely ridiculous since I know I am only talking about 3-4 months of trying and that is barely any time for a lot of people, but with each month I felt more and more despairing [the ease and speed of all of our previous pregnancy attempts had clearly spoiled me]. Mid-October we got yet another definitive "not happening" and I remember thinking, welp, maybe it's just not meant to be. Maybe we should just quit trying. Maybe five is the number God has for us. And all of these thoughts made me feel unbelievably sad.
That morning we went to Costco. I was feeling blah and despondent. We did our shopping, checked out, and headed out to the car. Of course, Costco being Costco, we had to have our receipt marked by the employee at the exit. Since we almost always go to Costco at lunchtime on Saturdays [yet another way we like to introduce crazy in our life], we almost always see the same few employees checking receipts at the door. One particular woman makes it her mission to always draw a smiley face for each of our kids on the back of the receipt. Most of the time she says something along the lines of, "There are five, right? I don't want to leave anybody out."
This particular Saturday she didn't ask for a head count and just drew all the smiley faces and sent us on our way. As we walked out and I was showing the kids the receipt [they like to see who is who, though usually most of the faces are not all that different from one another...], I realized that she had accidentally drawn six smiley faces instead of five. And somehow, seeing a picture of what I was inwardly grieving [YES, I KNOW IT SOUNDS DRAMATIC], seeing a visual of what might be a future we wouldn't get to live... It somehow had the exact opposite effect on me from what I would have thought it would have.
I knew it was just a weird timing, completely coincidental mistake she had made [it is definitely true that once you have more than four of something, you generally feel the need to actually count], but even so... the joy and hope it brought me that day and the days to follow was huge [again, I know this sounds so silly]. I couldn't stop smiling. I hung the receipt on our fridge and it brought a feeling of peace every time I looked at it.
Exactly four weeks later, we had our positive. Our little Half Dozen, who we have affectionately called Waffles, was on his/her way.
Now, here I am, with a 36 week 3 days along little babe growing and kung-fu-ing and not-at-all-chilling inside of me right now. And the receipt remains on our fridge, all six little smiley faces looking at me each day, reminding me that hope can come from the most unexpected of places.
Costco: the warehouse store for toilet paper, peanut butter, and baby announcements. Who knew?
God is good.
