birth contemplations

We have reached the two-week countdown! This is literally my favorite time of pregnancy. Yes, I feel like a whale. Yes, I waddle like a whale-ish penguin. Yes, I grunt and huff and ugh my way through getting out of bed and squatting to pick up toys and straining to reach the faucet when I'm doing the dishes. BUT. It is still my favorite time of being pregnant.

Two weeks feels like nothing, especially when I consider the "one week left" time period to be "this is THE week" time period [regardless of its accuracy (I have a 50% accuracy rate currently)]. All of the icky parts of pregnancy are theoretically done [no more pesky symptoms, no more needles, no more "am I going to fail this test" anxiety fests, etc]. All I have left is the last bit of waiting and then it's Hello, Sweet Baby time. Gah, it's the best. Come on, labor, let's do this thing!

For the past couple of months, one of my wind-down for sleep activities [besides going over our very ignored to-do list] is mentally walking through all of my past labors and deliveries. It is simultaneously exciting and calming. Each of the boys has slid into this world in a very different and yet also similar way/time frame and I am hopeful that this will remain the pattern for the fifth round. If I had to choose an ideal replica birth, I'd say I would pick... a Finley delivery. He came fast, didn't allow me a lot of angry mutter time during labor, and was a born-in-the-tub baby. Five stars, would do again. 

The one thing I would not prefer about a Finley delivery is the fact that he was a day late. I know in the grand scheme of things, one day late is still crazily punctual [the mere fact that you can possibly predict within a few days when something will happen 280-ish days before it happens is just miraculous in itself], but it still seems a bit rude. Lucas was a due date baby, Finley was one day late, Sebastian was two days early, and Eli was two days late. So, all we need now is a one day early baby to complete the pattern. Do you hear me, Boo? IT WOULD BE SO SATISFYING. Please and thank you. We shall see. 

Another baby related tidbit that entertains me is thinking about how long I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding or both. It is mind boggling.

• 2013 - pregnant [only for an extremely tiny portion of the year, to be fair, but still counts]
• 2014 - pregnant/breastfeeding
• 2015 - breastfeeding
• 2016 - pregnant/breastfeeding
• 2017 - pregnant/breastfeeding
• 2018 - pregnant/breastfeeding
• 2019 - pregnant/breastfeeding
• 2020 - pregnant/breastfeeding
• 2021 - pregnant/breastfeeding
• 2022 - pregnant/breastfeeding
• 2023 - pregnant/soon-will-be-breastfeeding

I am somehow approaching almost four years of actively growing a baby inside of me and almost seven full years of nursing said babies. That is such a huge chunk of my life, but hands down it has been such an excellent use of my time. It has been ever so busy and exhausting but also ever so fulfilling and grand. Even though it also seems like downright craziness. I might need a new hobby soon.

Apparently 37-to-38-ish weeks is when everyone in our neighborhood all agreed that it was finally safe to assume I am indeed pregnant. The possibility that the size of my stomach was just the result of indulging in too many tacos was no longer reasonable, though one neighbor did actually ask, "Do you know if it's a boy taco or a girl taco?" So... maybe I'm somehow still leaving them in doubt. The sudden influx of questions from the neighbors is most likely also due to the fact that the warm weather has allowed me to break out all the summer clothes, which makes this belly o'mine undeniably obvious when we go on walks. 

Speaking of walks, I suppose it's time for another resolution progress report.

• Kitchen sinks/counters completely empty of dishes every night: ✔️ There was one incident of the instant pot being left to soak for two nights... but it was eventually remedied. Jason has been coming to my rescue on this one a lot recently at dinner any time I just do not want to stand hunched/stretched over the sink one more time. I need longer arms when I'm pregnant... 
• Read through the Bible this year: ✔️ I somehow fell behind four entire days over the Easter weekend 😬🤦🏻‍♀️😬🤦🏻‍♀️ I KNOW HOW TERRIBLE THAT SOUNDS. But it's all good now. I am well into 1 Samuel now and back on track. 
• Walk 200 miles [in the same socks (don't ask)] before the baby arrives: ✔️ I am pretty stoked about this one as I am so close to finishing. I have a mere 14 miles to go which, like the last two weeks of pregnancy, is nothing compared to the 186 miles already accomplished. 🎉
• Don't reach an all-time-high weight by the end of this pregnancy: 🤔 It's going to be close, guys. Real close. BUT that's not actually a bad thing! I did not think this was actually an attainable goal [due to starting weight] and honestly I'm just pleased that, at the very least, I'm going to land oh so close to my Eli pregnancy max weight [instead of continuing my five-pounds-heavier-than-the-last-pregnancy trend]. I usually weigh myself at 39 weeks and then just call it done, since I say anything goes food and exercise wise the final week 😄🤷🏻‍♀️
• Read 75 books: ✔️ I'm at 17 books for the year so far. Definitely still a doable goal, though I may need to do some shorter, more reasonable reads through the summer to prep for the end of the year. I only have one more 1200+ page book on the docket, so that should help immensely. 
• Blog more: ✔️ I think this one deserves a checkmark for sure. The real test will obviously be the second half of the year, but still. ✔️✔️✔️

Will this be the last blog post before Boo arrives? 😬🤞🏼🎉 

[don't judge the September 2019 calendar that I'm using to track my miles in April 2023- THERE'S A REASON]

fourteen days of celebration

If you know Jason at all, you know how much he loves to party. You know how much he loves to plan and execute festive occasions. You know how much he loves to dream up party decor, shop for gifts, bake celebratory desserts, and organize fun activities.

If you know Jason at all, you know how the entire above paragraph is written tongue-in-cheek at best and is more accurately just a downright lie.

Jason is seriously excellent at executing tasks. He is truly top notch when it comes to organizing and project prep. Plus, underneath his chill, un-hyped exterior, he is a pretty entertaining and fun fellow. But applying those characteristics to festivities is a big no go for him. I think it ranks up there in his top five list of Things I Never Want to Be Responsible For.

And yet, here we are, a mere two-ish weeks away from his grand moment of the year: The Fourteen Days of Celebration. And this year, it's even bigger than ever [woo 🎉]. 

Here's the agenda:

• Actual birth day of Boo, baby numero cinco
• Fourth birthday for Sebastian
• Second birthday for Eli
• Fifteenth wedding anniversary
• Mother's Day

All squeezed into a two-ish week period. Oof.

For Boo's birth, obviously there is not much that Jason needs to do to prepare, unless you count all of the random tasks and projects I come up with at the last moment. But it is still a pretty big life event, and there is some emotional prep work and some mental "get ready for the sleep deprivation" prep for him. But no festivities to organize. So I think it will be a nice soft opening for his Fourteen Days of Celebration.

Normally I handle the boys' birthday prep, but with this being a New Baby year and our hopes being that I will be snuggling a squishy babe/chilling in postpartum euphoria by the time May 1st/2nd [the two birthdays] rolls around... I have mentally relinquished the birthday-ing execution to Jason. He knows this, but I'm not sure he truly knows this, if you know what I mean. Sebastian is old enough this year to actually look forward to his birthday and he is oh so excited for its arrival and I want it to be everything he's imagining. Birthday theme: All Things Fish. [If Boo decides to be inconveniently and rudely late and wants to crash a brother's birthday, this will obviously change all the plans 😄] 

Fifteen years of marriage is LEGIT. That's a decade and a half of living life with my best friend. The best years of my life, I tell you. We generally do not do much for anniversaries, so there honestly isn't a lot of pressure on Jason, but anniversary fifteen seems like we should do something out of the ordinary, really party it up low-key style. But there will be a newborn. And four other children. So... gotta keep things realistic. [Back when we were young and naive, we declared a just-the-two-of-us cruise for our fifteenth... alas.]

And lastly, there is Mother's Day. It will be my ninth Mother's Day and my first one as a mama of five ❤️ Again, there are usually very low expectations for any celebration of this holiday, but undoubtedly Jason will feel compelled to do something outside of normal day things. Once I remind him of the date, that is 😉

All in all, with how we do celebrations/holidays/anniversaries, it is not that much to pile on Jason's plate 😄 But it will feel like a lot to one who finds festivity planning stressful and overwhelming. By the time he wraps up Mother's Day, he will either be a pro at throwing celebrations or he will be checking out of all celebrations for the rest of the year. I'll keep you updated.

[And just for the record, regardless of how much or little pomp and circumstance there is, I'm greatly looking forward to this particular Fourteen Days of Celebration. It will be the best of times with the best family of seven.]

i love him immensely.