There honestly are only a few things I pride myself on when it comes to parenting. I think I do an okay job on 80% of things, a pretty good job on 15% of things, and an absolutely terrible job on 4% of things. But man, that last percent. On that last 1%, I'm outstanding.
So, of course, you're probably curious: what things could possibly fall into that minuscule category?
Well, to name a few...
- eating things offered to me by a child (the key is to just pop it in your mouth before you think to ask what is it, where did it come from, why does the child no longer want it, and who already had it in their mouth)
- monsching baby love handles
- making up top notch songs for any situation
Now obviously, "top notch" is pretty subjective. My personal definition of top notch has to do with the song's ability to elicit laughs from tiny people, how easily I am able to recall the tune and words at a future date, or whether I catch any of the aforementioned tiny people quietly singing it to themselves later in the day. If the song satisfies any of those three criteria, it's top notch.
There's a bear with no head? I've got a song for that.
You can't find your shoe? I've got a song for that.
The truck made a weird sound? I've got a song for that.
I don't know why I often start out talking and end up repeating something ridiculous over and over again until it ends up song-like. Perhaps it's a parenting coping mechanism? Whatever the reason, this is what I do. And I am outstanding.
And humble. I am also humble.
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| there's a song here somewhere |
