5.02.2022

how it happened a year ago

Did you guys know we had a fourth baby? Yeah, I was surprised, too.

Usually in the few weeks after we have a baby I write up my version of the events in here. It's a bad excuse (especially since Sharayah managed over a dozen blog posts during the year), but between the baby and the other kids and work, I never got to it. So, here it is, mixed into his 1-year birthday post.

April 2021
We were hoping for an April baby so that every kid would have different birthday month. The due date was April 30, so we thought we definitely had a chance, although it would be close. My spring teaching semester would also be ending in the last week of April, so I made preparations in case Eli early came and I had to miss some final exams. I prepared all my exams over a week early and had them printed and sitting in labeled folders on my desk at work. The department chair had worked out various people who cold step in and proctor any given exam if I needed to miss any. I also got permission to skip graduation since I had to leave in the middle when we thought Sebi was coming (though he turned out not to be born until the following day, as you can read about in his "how it happened" post).

My parents came to be on call to watch the kids when labor started, we did some of the walking, spicy foods, etc. to get labor going, but he did not want to be an April baby.

Saturday, May 1
Sebi's 2nd birthday. We switched from wanting Eli to hurry up to wanting him to wait a little bit so they could have separate birthdays. We celebrated Sebi and things were still uneventful baby-wise.

That night, contractions started early enough that Sharayah didn't go to sleep. I went to sleep at some point but didn't sleep much.

Sunday, May 2
Around 3 she could tell she wouldn't be making it to morning without heading to the birth center. Around 4 she called the birth center and woke me up to call my parents and have them head over from the hotel to sleep on the couch so they could be with the kids in the morning. Contractions were progressing pretty steadily, so it seemed like we wouldn't be having another slow boy.

We arrived at the birth center around 5am. Contractions were already under 3 minutes apart. We got straight into the tub for possibly a water birth. Contractions slightly lessened in intensity once she was in the water, but they were still going pretty consistently most of the time. They definitely seemed to take a lot out of Sharayah. It seemed to me (because I only woke up at 4) that things were moving pretty quickly, but Sharayah seemed kind of discouraged that things weren't moving along as quick as she hoped they would, and she was getting really sleepy and tired. It turned out, actually things were still moving along. She spent most of the time up until the birth thinking that she might still be really far off from the pushing phase. For some reason, she just wasn't feeling those "the baby is really just about to come out" kinds of feelings. I think she was probably worried about it taking a long time like last time (when she labored for about four hours at the birth center) and she was also getting really beaten up by the contractions. I filled my usual role of speaking comforting words, putting pressure on her lower back because apparently that's useful (?), and just being there with her.

Around 7am, suddenly, he was definitely coming. For some reason (dealing with intense contractions?) Sharayah was standing when his head came out, so he was out of the water. They asked me if I wanted to catch him, so I went for it. It's kind of blurry, but it seems like he just kind of plopped into my hands. It was hard to see what I was doing, and such a crazy moment. Birth is always surreal and amazing, but catching the baby is a whole other layer. My brain says he did a sort of half-flip as he landed in my arms, but I'm sure that's just a weird brain thing.

Sharayah switched from exhausted and uncertain and ready to be annoyed if she had to wait a long time for the pushing phase again to over-the-moon happy in an instant. She always gets those post birth super content feelings, but I've never seen her glow quite like this before. She later very accurately described it as euphoria.

After approximately 8 hours of contractions, and less than two hours at the birth center, we got our fourth fella.

We stuck around for all the required checking him (and Sharayah) out to make sure everyone was ok. We stared at another miracle. Then we came home and I somehow waited a year to write this post.

In the past year, Eli has been our tiny, euphoria-inducing lump, another one-pound-per-week superchunk, and now a giant, walking and running tiny little man. He had the biggest chins we've seen yet and radiated the most pure, unadulterated joy. He loves his big brothers so much and couldn't wait to keep up with them. His motor skills developed way faster than any of his brothers, and he was walking freely at 9 months. Now he practically runs everywhere and giggle-chirps excitedly every time he has free reign to wander. He tackles the cat with gusto every chance he gets and tries to eat everything any brother has every held. He kept his gummy grin longer than anyone so far. He is somehow super clingy and needy but also able to play independently for pretty long periods of time (as long as we watch for him eating everything). He has the fluffiest little head ever and gives awesome tiny hugs. I didn't know I wanted a fourth baby, but he showed me I needed one.

The older kids have accepted him into the club with open arms. They constantly talk to him and show him things. As usual, Finley is the biggest baby lover. He now says Eli is his best friend and the one he loves the most. Everyone always wants to hug Eli, try to pick up Eli, or sit Eli in their laps (which is getting harder, since he's about 24 pounds). He just wants to be one of the big boys, and he's getting closer all the time.

Dear Eli,

You have successfully added to our chaos. I know you a little better than I usually know the new baby when I write this post. You are joy encapsulated and a determined, unstoppable force when you want to get somewhere. You (like your brothers before you) make me so out-of-my-mind tired, but I can't imagine our family without you. I'm sorry I took so long to write your birth story, but in fairness you made us wait until May when we clearly explained we wanted you to come in April. I love being your dad and watching you learn and grow and chase after your brothers. Happy birthday (for last year and this year)!
Love,
Dad

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