how it happened with chocolate and waffles

Welcome to the sixth installment of the birth posts, and the third to take place a full year after the birth. The 1-year-old birth posts are now 50% of all birth posts. If there's ever another baby, I guess it can break the tie in one direction or the other.

July 2025
July is hot. And late in the summer. We generally have had babies much earlier in the summer to maximize my time at home from work before the new school year (and because pregnant Sharayah likes the heat even less than regular Sharayah [is non-pregnant Sharayah the regular one, or is pregnant Sharayah? She has now spent over four years pregnant, so it's hard to tell.]). You can't always choose these things precisely I suppose, so here we were in July with the due date approaching.

This might have partly (or wholly) taken place earlier than July, but Tobin was our hardest baby to name. His pregnancy name was Waffles (all of them had fun names that we used before they were born so we could avoid calling them "it" without revealing names), but we just couldn't get past that to a final real name.  Finally, when we were down to two names, and I was pretty much being outvoted by everyone in the house, I conceded and we selected Tobin on the condition that we would get a Toblerone chocolate bar on his birthday every year. Sometimes I call him Toblerone anyway, so it works out. 

Of course, every kid's name is proven to be the right name once you know them as that name for any amount of time, so he is Tobin and couldn't be anyone else. However, then final confirmation came several months after Tobin was born when we got new neighbors and they had a dog whose name was our other choice. They are always yelling that name in their yard, so it would have been pretty weird if we'd gone the other way.

So, now you understand the weird name of this post.

Anyway, back to business. It was July, and it was hot, and a baby was on the way. By now, we've gotten pretty good at this stuff (by which I obviously mean Sharayah has gotten good at it and I follow her around and do whatever she needs). We go to the bare minimum required midwife visits, we have very few questions, and we know what we need to have and do to be ready for the birth day. We were doing our second home birth with our favorite midwife, Jessica, and everything leading up to birth was pretty smooth.

July 18
Some time during the night (early morning), contractions started. By wake-up time for the kids, we were already far enough along that we thought it would be a morning baby. This was our first one without family help visiting (although David and Becky would of course have come over in an emergency), so while Sharayah was on labor duty, I was on double duty of helping her however I could and getting the kids fed and keeping them occupied. We had talked to them about it ahead of time, so the older ones understood that they'd be hanging out on their own for parts of the day until the baby came. They were all really good about it all morning, even little Aviyah who was barely two. Each time I came back to check on them, they were happily playing together.

Jessica arrived, Sharayah was her usual amazing trooper through contractions, and I settled into my usual role of comforting however I could (now with fun 30-second interruptions to go check on the other guys periodically). I think we did still have some of those moments of "are we progressing at all? are we getting any closer? is this going to be another quick one or take forever? how can we tell if we're almost there??", which I guess is funny given how many times we've done this, but honestly Sharayah is so good at birth, and I know what little I can do, for me it's not particularly scary or nerve-wracking anymore. Not to minimize what she goes through, it is still a herculean, exhausting effort, but I know what she's capable of by now. When we were very close, I put an episode of Octonauts on for the kids to try to buy a slightly larger gap between checks, and we waited, and in the right amount of time he was there. Around 10:45am, we had our own little Toblerone.

As always, the newborn stage is a sleepy blur. Sharayah is such a superhero that sometimes I feel like I'm barely needed (except I change all the diapers), although the more other kids we have, the more work it is on that side for me to keep all of them reasonably taken care of in some approximation of what Sharayah would normally do for them while she takes care of the baby and soaks up all the newborn time she can. Clearly the months just fly by and he is just part of the family. Our kids are so great with new babies (I guess we have a pro-baby culture here) so he is so loved. They always want to help him and hug him and hold him so much that he can barely get a minute to himself.

Tobin is such a happy fellow, and he loves his people and all their attention so much. He's only grumpy if he's sleepy, hungry, or left without anyone to play with (even all our baby-lovers sometimes want to go be big kids sometimes), and aren't we all grumpy in those situations? Now that he's walking around, he's an unstoppable force of playing, tackling, yelling (usually happily), and eating everything he can find. He's such a big part of our family. I never would have believed that I'd want or have 6 kids before we started, but you cannot take my Tobin away, so deal with it.

Sharayah has already made her post of 52 pictures for his 52 weeks, so do yourself a favor and stare at those for a while. Pro tip: click on the collages and zoom all the way in to see lots of baby goodness. A sample:

Dear Tobin,
Happy birthday twice. You are such a silly, happy, necessary part of our lives. Do you make me tired? I don't remember the time before tired, so who can even tell? You add so much love to our house in all directions. After a year, we still can't tell who you look like, because you seem to be a perfect little mixture of all your brothers and a little extra just for yourself. I love being your Dadadadadadada every day, even when I'm grumpy. I can't wait to keep watching you grow into who you're going to be.
Love,
Dad

my tiny toblerone

Even the sixth time around, the first year flies by incredibly fast. How has Tobin been with us for so long and yet it feels like he just got here? This baby has left his grubby little fingerprints all over our home and hearts for a full year and we still can't get enough of him. 

His toddling is classic and unstoppable. His love of eating and throwing food is unmatched. When he wants to cuddle with you, he tucks his arms in front of himself and then snuggles into you with his whole head and body. His hair is getting longer but is still relatively sparse in places. He has eight teeth and one adorable dimple. He does an enthusiastic head waggle if he hears any music from anywhere and performs an impressive full booty squat routine if he really enjoys the beat. He just recently discovered a way to express rage, balling up his two little fists and shrieking as hard as he can muster for two seconds, and it's laughably cute. He refuses to say mama and squeakily says dada on repeat, of course. 

He is the most cheerful of babies and we love the stuffing out of him. 

Oh my Tobin August, 

You are such a beautiful little soul. You bring so much energy and joy to our home. Thank you for sleeping well, eating my nose with your open mouth kisses, and having such a cheerful take on life. Your dimpled grin will forever get you extra blueberries. You are absolutely adored and one of my favorite humans on this planet. I love you, Toblerone. 

Happy very first birthday!

Mama

stardate 26424.11

Life happenings lately: 

• Lucas, Finley, and Sebi finished up their official school year last week. Last year we decided to start the school year in early July so we could get a couple of routine weeks in before Tobin arrived, just to help ease the transition, and these boys absolutely killed it. Their diligence and responsible attitudes were top notch, and they are pretty psyched to be done with their 36 weeks of scheduled work [though, as all good homeschoolers do, we will obviously continue with random bits of schooling throughout the summer to keep habits and expectations moving along]. So proud of these fellas! Other honorable mentions: Eli is reading more and more and Aviyah is happily along for the ride, even if her repeating every word Eli reads seriously detracts from the flow of his reading 😄
• Tobin holds the title of our longest co-sleeper, reigning in our bed for the first 6.5 months of his life. It was glorious. He transitioned to his own bed/room when he started getting too mobile and wiggly at night, wanting to roll on and off his belly instead of staying snuggled up on his side next to me, and now at 9 months old he just might be our best sleep baby. He still wakes up to nurse usually once a night, and every time Jason places him next to me, it's like my whole body just exhales and relaxes. If I were to go back in time and tell my 28- and 31-year-old self one thing, it would be to ignore the voices that had me thinking co-sleeping was the most irresponsible thing you could do with your baby [which caused so much anxiety and fear any time I accidentally fell asleep after a feeding with Lucas or Finley next to me] and instead listen to that deep down instinct of "this is how it should be." I'm not sure what changed with the arrival of Sebi, but finally realizing co-sleeping made all the things infant-hood better was an absolute game changer.
• Our trusty rice cooker of fifteen years decided it was ready to retire. My hunt for a larger capacity one turned up naught [Related: Why do rice cookers measure their capacity by their tiny, rice-specific "cups" instead of standard cups? I have issues with this.], so I am now cooking rice on the stove like a normal Asian. I do miss being able to just turn it on and not have to pay any attention to it until dinnertime, but besides that, rice is rice. And now I can cook five cups of dry rice at once and actually have some leftovers for fried rice, so... I'm going to say it's a net positive.
• The middle kids are absolutely obsessed with I Spy type books. I admit, I was a little disappointed and befuddled when 4-to-6-year-old Lucas and Finley didn't take a shine to this particular activity since I remember spending hours hunting for every last little thing on every page of these kinds of books when I was little. But all is right in the world now that I have a Sebi and an Eli and an Aviyah head down and on the hunt. 
• The garden has been planted and the glimpses of green are peeking up. The rabbits have already had their way with the lettuce, so Jason has fenced in the garden once again. The tree pollen has taken up residence in poor Finley's eyes. The hours outdoors are off to a grand start with 350 hours logged so far. 
• As always, we have a busy start to our "summer" [which, yes, we acknowledge starts waaay before actual seasonal summer is declared (courtesy of Jason's excellent professor-ing)].  Beginning next week, Aviyah will turn 3, Jason will finish his last week at work for the school year, Sebi will turn 7, Eli will turn 5, we head to Branson for a week, and then... we will surprise the kids by, instead of heading home from Branson, driving straight down to Galveston, Texas, to meet up with Jason's parents and hop onto a cruise ship for a week. It has been challenging keeping this surprise under wraps, especially in the past few weeks as we've been figuring out all the logistics of packing. But it will be very fun to see their reaction to it all. [Sidenote: I think surprises for big kids are excellent because they finally get it - the unexpectedness, the excitement, and, to some extent, the big deal-ness of it all. With little kids on the other hand, you can "surprise" them with a second tangerine and they think it's the best day ever but you take them on a super fun outing and they are hilariously nonplussed.]
• Back in January, I put a calendar up on the wall in the kitchen. There was a specific reason for it, but I cannot remember what it was... But then, one day, I randomly wrote down the meal we had eaten for dinner that night on the calendar. And then I did it the next day. And the next day. And then we all started writing meals we wanted to have on future dates. And those days would come and I knew exactly what to make that night and could even plan for it beforehand and it was so helpful. I no longer had to dread the 4 o'clock, "What's for dinner tonight?" question because it was no longer an unknown I had to solve every single day. It has been so freeing and amazing, and I love that everyone can feel like they have a say in what's on the menu. We have a few rules [no repeat meals on consecutive days, I have the right to veto or call an audible on any meal on any day, the much requested meal of "Smoofins" can only be once a month, etc], but I cannot stress enough how much less stress there has been on me since offloading the meal planning to all the other humans in this house. 

So there you have it. A completely random, stream of consciousness, thrown together on a whim post of life happenings. I am refusing to read over it and edit it because it is Friday and I have a houseful of children needing my attention and 854 tabs open in my brain. But a blog post has been made. One more thing to check off my to-do list!

Life is good, guys, and it feels like it just keeps getting better ❤

functional fanciness

The end of October brought about the end of our microwave. It gave no warning or farewell; it simply died. I have always had mixed feelings about microwaves, stemming from having never had one until I was married, and about once a month I would consider, perhaps, just going back to that kind of life. They are a convenience for sure, but they only ever give you mediocre results. Save when warming up leftovers, when else do we ever consider sacrificing quality for instant gratification an acceptable habit? [Feel free to call this my ridiculous midlife crisis 😄]

So when our microwave passed on to that happy land where microwaves get to have all of their buttons used [ah, the sound of the rejoicing popcorn buttons is magnificent], I was more than a little interested in just possibly not replacing it. I quickly discovered all of the things I "needed" the microwave for in our normal day to day: heating water for dough making, melting butter for pancake making, and warming up leftovers. After the first few times of "whoops, forgot I needed to get that on the stove so I guess I'll have to wait a bit longer than expected," living the microwave-free life has felt 100% normal. Food tastes better warmed up in the oven. Butter melts more consistently on the stove. Honestly, the main drawback to not having the microwave? When I have a timer going on the stove, I don't know what time it is because I do not have the second clock from the microwave. 

Of course, while I had kitchen appliance shopping on the brain, I naturally thought of replacing our range. We've wanted a new stove for a while. And by "for a while" I mean "ever since we moved into this house ten years ago." The front burners on our stove are a bit wonky. And by wonky I mean that the left one cannot lower the heat enough to simmer and the right one can only heat on the highest temperature possible no matter where you set the dial. So for the past decade, any time I need to have two things cooking, I do a fancy Dance of the Pots, where I switch them back and forth and try not to let anything burn. The fact that this has seemed like a reasonable way to live should be the number one sign that you probably never want to eat over here.

Well, my search for the cheapest range I could find quickly morphed into a "ooh, this could be the moment to upgrade to a double oven!" search [this "one thing leads to another slightly different thing" in classic If You Give a Mouse a Cookie fashion is my specialty, by the way]. Do I need a double oven? Well, it's kinda like the "Do I need a microwave?" question. I probably do not need it, but it would make things a lot more convenient at times. The number of times I just stuff multiple dishes in at the same temperature, do some sketchy time math, and cross my fingers is... just a regular part of life at this point. The real question was, are we fancy enough to justify the ownership of a double oven? After just a couple days of sighing in exasperation at not being able to make a baked good because of something else already being in the oven, Jason came to the conclusion all on his own that a double oven would indeed be an excellent thing to have and that we were, in fact, fancy enough and adult enough to own one. We make an impeccable team.

Luckily [?], there were not a lot of options for double ovens in our price range, so the choosing of the oven did not take much overthinking [something that I love to do during a Big Purchase]. The purchasing and installing of the new range went without a hitch, and the removal and donation of the old one went just as smoothly [did you know there's a pretty high demand on Craigslist for old stoves?]. One thing that did surprise us is that the oven box would not fit in the back of our giant bus of a van. The box was too tall, so Jason had to rent one of Lowe's high-roof Transits all the while regretting our choice of a low-roof Transit [but no serious regrets because garage parking is sooo worth it]. 

So there you have it. We are fancy. I have absolutely loved having multiple functional burners and have made much use of them. I have also made near daily use of both ovens and it's been a game-changer. Have I ever put food in one oven but turned on the other oven? Only once - THAT'S NOT BAD, FOLKS. I continue to surprise myself with how on top of things I am. 😂

And you know what? I have not found myself wishing I had a microwave again. Jason might sometimes feel low levels of disgruntlement when he has to decide if he would rather eat something cold or wait fifteen minutes, but I have faith that one day he will spontaneously decide to remove the old microwave and turn it into some sort of practical shelf space. Perhaps with a clock. Who can say?

The Decrepit One

Out with the old

In with the new!

Bonus: Huge box/cave/house/rocketship/hiding place