nine plus ten

At the end of every day I find myself completely blanking on the three dozen hilarious things that Lucas said that day. This bothers me so much. I try to jot them down somewhere. I try to make a mental note that will trigger the memory later on. But alas. Of the 142 things that I wanted to remember, I have managed to write down... 9 of them. Sigh.

I am going to make yet another concerted effort to remember more, but in the meantime, I feel as if I might as well share the 9 that did stick with me. So here goes..

Bathroom brainstorming:
Me: "Are you done going to the bathroom or do you have more?"
Lucas: "Mommy, maybe we should brainstorm some more."
Me: "Brainstorm about what?"
Lucas: "We need to brainstorm some more about if I am done or not. We should do some more thinking."
Me: "...I don't think I can help with that."
*Lucas places his hand on my shoulder and leans his head in close to my face*
Lucas: "Let's do some thinking, Mommy."

Book snoring:
*Lucas is running around the room making a "zzzzzzz" sound*
Me: "Are you pretending to be a bee?"
Lucas: "Um, no. Bees don't say 'zzzzzz.' People sleeping do."

Toy sharing:
*Lucas and Finley start fussing*
Me: "What's going on, boys? You need to play nicely with each other."
Lucas: "Finley has the button!"
Me: "It's okay if he plays with that button. You can play with one of the other buttons or wait until he's done with that one."
Lucas: "But... Finley tried to give the button to me but he accidentally gave it to himself!"

Superheroes:
*trying to explain who Captain America is*
Me: "He's a superhero. He fights bad guys."
Lucas: "But, but heroes don't fight. They are HEROES. They rescue people."

Introducing Disney movies:
Lucas: "Wall-E sounds like the capital of North Carolina."

Cooking:
*Lucas is stirring up some concoction in his pot*
Lucas: "Then you put in some soda..."
Me: "Soda? What's soda?"
Lucas: "Baking soda!"

Deep thoughts:
Me: "So what would you like to talk about?"
Lucas: "Well, if I found a big pile of dirt... I would dig in it to see if Finley was under it and then I would rescue him and help him out."
Me: "...why would Finley be under a pile of dirt?"
Lucas: "Anything could be under a pile of dirt."

Language arts:
*Jason is talking about a book he's reading*
Me: "How's the language?"
Jason: "Um... Slight."
Lucas, the ever listening: "How do you speak in slight?"

Naming schemes:
Lucas: "Why is it called toilet paper?"
Jason: "It's like paper and you use it on the toilet."
Lucas: "Well then... why isn't soap called bathroom bubbles?"

Welcome to the mind of Lucas!

Switching gears now, here's how the next round of our Ten themed posts are going down. [WE ARE GETTING SO CLOSE TO ANNIVERSARY EXTRAVAGANZA/the end of these excessive posts.] Jason chose the topic of Nouns, so nouns it will be. We will each compile a list of ten (obviously) nouns that we think describe the other person. That person will then have the chance to figure out what is meant by these descriptive nouns before the "real" answers are given. It may sound confusing, so let's cut to the chase and get to my list of ten nouns. Apparently I'm going first since someone was supposedly too busy with work and life responsibilities to come up with his ten words. *ahem*

Ten Nouns Describing Jason
- Boiling water
- Celery
- Cuckoo clock
- Pickwick Papers
- Costco's 93-inch bear
- Female elephant
- Onion
- Antivirus software
- White vinegar
- Toilet paper

So there you have it. Perfection. Jason will attempt to interpret these nouns for himself as well as give his list of ten for me in his next post. This is going to be good, you guys. Solidly mediocre entertainment!

Round 1: GUESS WHO?

Answer: "I'm Captain America!"

Round 2: GUESS WHO?

Answer: "I'm a salamander pretending to be an upside down walrus!"