Well, year one of PhD school is over and vacation is upon us. I wasn't sure if I would make it through, but it seems I'm still in one piece. I feel like I'm having a very different reaction to the experience of a PhD program compared to my fellow first year students. I hear a lot about how it's too hard, or this or that professor is ridiculous for expecting us to know something. Now, I won't say that this year wasn't stupid hard. In fact, I spend most of the time feeling like I definitely am stupid. But that's the thing. Whenever it's amazingly hard, and I think "wow, this is nearly impossible, can anyone actually make it through this?" I'm not really thinking they should make the class easier, I'm just thinking that I might not be smart enough. I mean, one of my classes, I think, wasn't taught very well, and that, I know, is not my fault. But for the most part, I think maybe it's supposed to be this hard. I think about the level of mastery that the professors have. We're supposed to become equals with them by the time we're done. So I don't know. Maybe there really is no difference. All of us are saying it's stupid how hard it is. And no one is as different as they think they are. I just think that in general, my disappointment is in myself for not succeeding at the level I thought I could, instead of in the professors for not making a fair exam.
Also, did you know that there is a grade that is an "A-", and that it is a thing that you can get on your transcript, and it is different than an A? That's bizarre to me. Anyway, I think with just one of those I can still say I got all A's, right? It's not like it's a B. Right. That's my story.
DUDE. We get to see Marth tomorrow. He lives between here and Williamsburg, so we're meeting for lunch. You are jealous.
Then we start our awesome vacation. We'll try to post about it as we go so you can all feel left out that you're not here. We are that nice.
On that note, I have some packing to do.
when everything falls apart
5.28.2011
5.20.2011
the glorious 20th: a rabbit trail leading to the fishing hole
Today marks 47 months. Since Jason's simple math skills have declined with his absorption of higher math skills, I will break this down for his sake: 47 months is 1 month shy of 4 years.
He mentioned today that he can't remember when we weren't together, and I feel the same way. He's the soy sauce on my rice, the fur on my bear, and the dandelion to my patio. It's a good life.
Jason has 2 more finals and then his first year of PhD-ing is complete. Many, many hoorays and such. I'm super proud of him. And simultaneously soo stoked about The Vacation that begins... next week. It will be good times indeed. I've always wanted to row a boat, and I'm pretty sure that is going to come to pass in the very near future. I sure hope my expectations aren't set too high (I highly doubt this will be the case). And I sure hope my arms and coordination skills don't make me look like a fool (This is a very likely outcome). I thought maybe kayaking last year would be a reasonable substitute for rowing a boat, that once I kayaked I would be able to mark "rowing a boat" off my to-do list. But, nope. My brain rejected this as a legitimate substitute (though it did put kayaking at the top of my "awesome things to do" list). Next week, however, I know I will be able to conclusively check off rowing a boat. I just feel it in my bones.
There may also be some fishing involved. It's a bit iffy though since neither of us have been fishing, seriously or not, on our own. I think I've gone fishing with my grandfather, and Jason has been fishing with his family, but that's about it. I like the <insert specific descriptive word that I can't think of at the moment> idea of sitting in a rowboat, with a fishing line in the water, and just sorta... floating. The predicament with this whole plan is that I'm not sure how I would now react to the sport of fishing (if you fish with the intent to immediately kill and eventually eat the fish, half of the predicament disappears). When I was a kid, I didn't care much for it either way, but I wasn't super bothered by the fact that I was spearing a living thing through with a hook, pulling it up by its mouth, somehow unhooking it from said hook, and then releasing it to live its life (supposedly without pain or negative consequences) until the next tempting sharp object. I feel like since I've gotten older, I am somewhat more... sympathetic towards animals, more sensitive to them in a way. I have always loved animals, but I think it's harder for me now to see or think of animals in unfortunate or painful situations than it was when I was a kid. No, I'm not one of those crazy PETA people (though once they did send me a packet of stickers that said all kinds of funny anti-carnivore messages). I just don't like seeing or thinking about helpless animals in pain, or acting as if they are in pain.
I will take a brief break here to clarify a hopefully already known tidbit: I love animals, but I do realize that human life is more important. I do. I just tend to sympathize with animals more often because they are more helpless in their unfortunate circumstances (the majority of humans have a large part in digging their own proverbial graves). (______) Babies are also helpless, and I can honestly say that I sympathize with them even more so than animals, because I do value human life above furry creature life. I am really not a very passionate or opinionated person, especially when it comes to broad pseudo-political/social topics, but abortion absolutely infuriates me. It's disgusting and inhuman. The illogical behavior and opinions of the "pro-choice" rabble when it comes to this topic frustrates me to no end. Yes, an elective or "therapeutic" abortion is absolutely murder, people. Since it's late though, I'll save that rant for another day. I just wanted to be clear that I do believe that human life is more important than animal life, despite having a very strong sympathy for animals and their lives.
Anyway, back to fishing. Knowing that I don't like seeing animals in pain, and knowing that a fish is an animal, and not knowing definitely if the fish is going through or going to go through negative consequences of my catch-and-release "sport," it makes me question how I will react to a fish flopping around on the end of my hooked line. It's complicated. The most conflicting part (beside the question of "Is my entertainment actually worth more than the comfort and/or life of this fish?") is that I want that above-painted picture of sitting, staring, floating, line in water, sun overhead, etc... It seems like it would be peaceful. I like peaceful (spoiler alert: I'm a pretty boring person).
So, if I can convince Jason, this is my current plan:
1) Rent poles and row boat.
2) Row to middle of a lake.
3) Tie whatever type of bait (worm, bread, etc) to my line, without hook.
4) Wait for line to tug.
5) Quickly pull up the hookless (and hopefully now baitless) line.
6) Exclaim, "By golly, he got away!"
7) Rinse and repeat.
Silly? Probably. Fun? Most definitely. I will get the experience that I want without the unwanted mental hassle. It will be a win-win-win situation, which is the best kind of conflict resolution according to paper company management in Scranton, PA.
Speaking of bait, doesn't this little fellow look like he'd be the perfect kind of bait? Not for fishing obviously... but he does look bait-like, no? The way he's sitting back on his little haunches makes him super adorable.
He mentioned today that he can't remember when we weren't together, and I feel the same way. He's the soy sauce on my rice, the fur on my bear, and the dandelion to my patio. It's a good life.
Jason has 2 more finals and then his first year of PhD-ing is complete. Many, many hoorays and such. I'm super proud of him. And simultaneously soo stoked about The Vacation that begins... next week. It will be good times indeed. I've always wanted to row a boat, and I'm pretty sure that is going to come to pass in the very near future. I sure hope my expectations aren't set too high (I highly doubt this will be the case). And I sure hope my arms and coordination skills don't make me look like a fool (This is a very likely outcome). I thought maybe kayaking last year would be a reasonable substitute for rowing a boat, that once I kayaked I would be able to mark "rowing a boat" off my to-do list. But, nope. My brain rejected this as a legitimate substitute (though it did put kayaking at the top of my "awesome things to do" list). Next week, however, I know I will be able to conclusively check off rowing a boat. I just feel it in my bones.
There may also be some fishing involved. It's a bit iffy though since neither of us have been fishing, seriously or not, on our own. I think I've gone fishing with my grandfather, and Jason has been fishing with his family, but that's about it. I like the <insert specific descriptive word that I can't think of at the moment> idea of sitting in a rowboat, with a fishing line in the water, and just sorta... floating. The predicament with this whole plan is that I'm not sure how I would now react to the sport of fishing (if you fish with the intent to immediately kill and eventually eat the fish, half of the predicament disappears). When I was a kid, I didn't care much for it either way, but I wasn't super bothered by the fact that I was spearing a living thing through with a hook, pulling it up by its mouth, somehow unhooking it from said hook, and then releasing it to live its life (supposedly without pain or negative consequences) until the next tempting sharp object. I feel like since I've gotten older, I am somewhat more... sympathetic towards animals, more sensitive to them in a way. I have always loved animals, but I think it's harder for me now to see or think of animals in unfortunate or painful situations than it was when I was a kid. No, I'm not one of those crazy PETA people (though once they did send me a packet of stickers that said all kinds of funny anti-carnivore messages). I just don't like seeing or thinking about helpless animals in pain, or acting as if they are in pain.
I will take a brief break here to clarify a hopefully already known tidbit: I love animals, but I do realize that human life is more important. I do. I just tend to sympathize with animals more often because they are more helpless in their unfortunate circumstances (the majority of humans have a large part in digging their own proverbial graves). (______) Babies are also helpless, and I can honestly say that I sympathize with them even more so than animals, because I do value human life above furry creature life. I am really not a very passionate or opinionated person, especially when it comes to broad pseudo-political/social topics, but abortion absolutely infuriates me. It's disgusting and inhuman. The illogical behavior and opinions of the "pro-choice" rabble when it comes to this topic frustrates me to no end. Yes, an elective or "therapeutic" abortion is absolutely murder, people. Since it's late though, I'll save that rant for another day. I just wanted to be clear that I do believe that human life is more important than animal life, despite having a very strong sympathy for animals and their lives.
Anyway, back to fishing. Knowing that I don't like seeing animals in pain, and knowing that a fish is an animal, and not knowing definitely if the fish is going through or going to go through negative consequences of my catch-and-release "sport," it makes me question how I will react to a fish flopping around on the end of my hooked line. It's complicated. The most conflicting part (beside the question of "Is my entertainment actually worth more than the comfort and/or life of this fish?") is that I want that above-painted picture of sitting, staring, floating, line in water, sun overhead, etc... It seems like it would be peaceful. I like peaceful (spoiler alert: I'm a pretty boring person).
So, if I can convince Jason, this is my current plan:
1) Rent poles and row boat.
2) Row to middle of a lake.
3) Tie whatever type of bait (worm, bread, etc) to my line, without hook.
4) Wait for line to tug.
5) Quickly pull up the hookless (and hopefully now baitless) line.
6) Exclaim, "By golly, he got away!"
7) Rinse and repeat.
Silly? Probably. Fun? Most definitely. I will get the experience that I want without the unwanted mental hassle. It will be a win-win-win situation, which is the best kind of conflict resolution according to paper company management in Scranton, PA.
Speaking of bait, doesn't this little fellow look like he'd be the perfect kind of bait? Not for fishing obviously... but he does look bait-like, no? The way he's sitting back on his little haunches makes him super adorable.
5.13.2011
an ostrich is not a 4-legged animal
Ah, Walter Farley. Hero of my youth.
When I was a kid, I absolutely loved reading Farley's Black Stallion series. Such epic, magnificent horses. I envied Alec Ramsay quite a bit. Who wouldn't want to be the sole friend and rider of a gloriously wild stallion? I knew I would never get to be as lucky as that fictional red-headed boy. (Seriously, who gets to be stranded on an island and become best friends with a majestically fierce stallion who also happens to be the fastest mount of all time? Just not fair...) Since I'd already given up on the prayer for God to make me a boy (yep, I figured after 12 years of being a girl that God probably thought it was a no-go) and since my largest pet to date was an extremely fat hamster, I decided that I could only be Alec Ramsay inside my head, for the hour and a half that it took to read each book. It was a sad realization.
Anyway, so all that to mention that I've decided to re-read these awesome childhood novels. The pages seem a bit smaller, the style a bit more simplistic, and the font somewhat larger than I remember, but the story is still excellent, the Black still awe-inspiring, and the human-horse relationship still enviable. I love when a memory doesn't let you down just because you're older.
I'm half-inclined to launch into a discussion about the quality of media for children these days, but I won't. It suffices to say that I hope my kids will either be avid readers or imaginative outdoor play-ers, or both. I realize I won't be able to force Tyler, Lucas, Matthew, Jordan, Sean, Timothy, and Emery to love my idea of quality pasttimes, but I sure can keep my fingers crossed and not-at-all-subtly prod them in the right direction.
Back on the topic of horses: I have still never ridden one, and I want to quite badly. I have never ridden any four-legged animal come to think of it. It's a shame and something that will have to be remedied at some point. It doesn't have to be a horse - a cow, or an elephant, or even a Great Dane would partially satisfy my desire. It would just be that feeling of swinging my leg over the animal, holding on tight to their wool or wrinkles (whichever the case may be) and then riding off into the sunset at a good, steady... plod. Unfortunately, I don't know many farmers who would willingly lend me their livestock for a day of mounted adventures, so I am forced to look elsewhere. A second unfortunately is that the more socially acceptable fix to my predicament is outrageously expensive - stables charge a ridiculous price for an hour ride. If only I were stranded on an island...
Welp, I think that's all I have to say for now. Oh, why the title? Well, I felt like I needed a strong, obvious statement to introduce this post, and while it turns out that it may not be that strong of a statement, I think it makes up for it in its obviousness... Obviousity...? Obviousation? I think it's obvious what I'm trying to say here, so I'm just going to quit while I'm behind.
This post is about as streamlined as my brain can possibly make a post (sad, no?), so I don't feel like there's a need for a summary.
As a nod to Mother's Day being this past weekend, meet Mrs. Opossum. She would stop to chat but she has her back full. And yes, this is the one time that I look on a opossum without feelings of ugh. :)
When I was a kid, I absolutely loved reading Farley's Black Stallion series. Such epic, magnificent horses. I envied Alec Ramsay quite a bit. Who wouldn't want to be the sole friend and rider of a gloriously wild stallion? I knew I would never get to be as lucky as that fictional red-headed boy. (Seriously, who gets to be stranded on an island and become best friends with a majestically fierce stallion who also happens to be the fastest mount of all time? Just not fair...) Since I'd already given up on the prayer for God to make me a boy (yep, I figured after 12 years of being a girl that God probably thought it was a no-go) and since my largest pet to date was an extremely fat hamster, I decided that I could only be Alec Ramsay inside my head, for the hour and a half that it took to read each book. It was a sad realization.
Anyway, so all that to mention that I've decided to re-read these awesome childhood novels. The pages seem a bit smaller, the style a bit more simplistic, and the font somewhat larger than I remember, but the story is still excellent, the Black still awe-inspiring, and the human-horse relationship still enviable. I love when a memory doesn't let you down just because you're older.
I'm half-inclined to launch into a discussion about the quality of media for children these days, but I won't. It suffices to say that I hope my kids will either be avid readers or imaginative outdoor play-ers, or both. I realize I won't be able to force Tyler, Lucas, Matthew, Jordan, Sean, Timothy, and Emery to love my idea of quality pasttimes, but I sure can keep my fingers crossed and not-at-all-subtly prod them in the right direction.
Back on the topic of horses: I have still never ridden one, and I want to quite badly. I have never ridden any four-legged animal come to think of it. It's a shame and something that will have to be remedied at some point. It doesn't have to be a horse - a cow, or an elephant, or even a Great Dane would partially satisfy my desire. It would just be that feeling of swinging my leg over the animal, holding on tight to their wool or wrinkles (whichever the case may be) and then riding off into the sunset at a good, steady... plod. Unfortunately, I don't know many farmers who would willingly lend me their livestock for a day of mounted adventures, so I am forced to look elsewhere. A second unfortunately is that the more socially acceptable fix to my predicament is outrageously expensive - stables charge a ridiculous price for an hour ride. If only I were stranded on an island...
Welp, I think that's all I have to say for now. Oh, why the title? Well, I felt like I needed a strong, obvious statement to introduce this post, and while it turns out that it may not be that strong of a statement, I think it makes up for it in its obviousness... Obviousity...? Obviousation? I think it's obvious what I'm trying to say here, so I'm just going to quit while I'm behind.
This post is about as streamlined as my brain can possibly make a post (sad, no?), so I don't feel like there's a need for a summary.
As a nod to Mother's Day being this past weekend, meet Mrs. Opossum. She would stop to chat but she has her back full. And yes, this is the one time that I look on a opossum without feelings of ugh. :)
5.10.2011
anniversary!
Today is our 3rd wedding anniversary. It's pretty cool to think that we've been married 3 years. Actually, it seems a lot longer. If I try to think about it, it's really a struggle to try to remember what life was like before we were together. I think we were different people then. Smaller, less complete. Actually, bigger, but that's another story. Anyway, we weren't whole. Everything from before is part of who we are, but only a small part. So much of who we are is who we've become together, as one.
A long, long time ago, before we were even officially dating, I bet Sharayah $5 that she could make me happy forever. We agreed that this would be difficult to verify, or at least by the time one of us won it would be difficult to pay them, since it would be forever, and $5 wouldn't exist anymore. So, we picked a time that would be a cutoff, something far, far in the distant future. You're thinking, because of the timing of this blog post, that we picked our 3rd anniversary. Well no, we weren't even dating. Don't be silly. But we did choose Sharayah's 25th birthday, which is now less than a month away. It was such a very long time ago, and now I'm so close to winning. She's made me far happier than I ever imagined when we made that silly bet. Now it's just a few weeks away. That $5 is as good as mine.
That wasn't our first bet, or our last (though it's our only currently ongoing bet). The first recorded Jason and Sharayah bet dates back even further into the history of the before-we-were-together time (which is when we were great friends, but for some reason hadn't yet realized that we were made for each other). There was a place along Riverside in Tulsa where you could walk down a boat ramp right up to the water. Sometimes we'd go down there to skip rocks, probably after a Wal-Mart run or something. One time Sharayah found an enormous rock for me to skip. It wouldn't really fit in one hand, so I didn't think it would skip, but I thought I might as well try. She bet me I couldn't do it. If I skipped the rock, she'd have to marry me in approximately 2.5 years (it ended up being under 2 years), but if I couldn't do it, she wouldn't have to marry me ever. Well, I didn't see the harm in that. After all, if I won, I wasn't bound by the bet, she was. If I lost, she wasn't forbidden from marrying me, she just wouldn't have to. So, with nothing to lose, I took that giant, un-skip-able rock, spun part way around, and flung it as hard as I could, as parallel to the water as I could get it. That goliath rock skipped not once, but three times. It was pretty awesome. I won, and she had to marry me.
That was a few months before the other bet, which was another several months before we started dating. I want to paint an honest picture, I don't win all the bets. Currently we're tied 4-4, so on Sharayah's birthday, I'll not only get $5, I'll get my 5th victory, and I'll gain the lead. And I'll still be happily married to my best friend, who continues to make me happier than I'll ever deserve to be.
It's been an amazing 3 years. I love you, Sharayah.
I was born to tell you I love you
A long, long time ago, before we were even officially dating, I bet Sharayah $5 that she could make me happy forever. We agreed that this would be difficult to verify, or at least by the time one of us won it would be difficult to pay them, since it would be forever, and $5 wouldn't exist anymore. So, we picked a time that would be a cutoff, something far, far in the distant future. You're thinking, because of the timing of this blog post, that we picked our 3rd anniversary. Well no, we weren't even dating. Don't be silly. But we did choose Sharayah's 25th birthday, which is now less than a month away. It was such a very long time ago, and now I'm so close to winning. She's made me far happier than I ever imagined when we made that silly bet. Now it's just a few weeks away. That $5 is as good as mine.
That wasn't our first bet, or our last (though it's our only currently ongoing bet). The first recorded Jason and Sharayah bet dates back even further into the history of the before-we-were-together time (which is when we were great friends, but for some reason hadn't yet realized that we were made for each other). There was a place along Riverside in Tulsa where you could walk down a boat ramp right up to the water. Sometimes we'd go down there to skip rocks, probably after a Wal-Mart run or something. One time Sharayah found an enormous rock for me to skip. It wouldn't really fit in one hand, so I didn't think it would skip, but I thought I might as well try. She bet me I couldn't do it. If I skipped the rock, she'd have to marry me in approximately 2.5 years (it ended up being under 2 years), but if I couldn't do it, she wouldn't have to marry me ever. Well, I didn't see the harm in that. After all, if I won, I wasn't bound by the bet, she was. If I lost, she wasn't forbidden from marrying me, she just wouldn't have to. So, with nothing to lose, I took that giant, un-skip-able rock, spun part way around, and flung it as hard as I could, as parallel to the water as I could get it. That goliath rock skipped not once, but three times. It was pretty awesome. I won, and she had to marry me.
That was a few months before the other bet, which was another several months before we started dating. I want to paint an honest picture, I don't win all the bets. Currently we're tied 4-4, so on Sharayah's birthday, I'll not only get $5, I'll get my 5th victory, and I'll gain the lead. And I'll still be happily married to my best friend, who continues to make me happier than I'll ever deserve to be.
It's been an amazing 3 years. I love you, Sharayah.
I was born to tell you I love you
5.01.2011
Dueling mathematicians
I was doing some studying yesterday on the theory of algebra (no, it's not the same thing as what most people think is algebra), and I came across some work by Evariste Galois (pronounced Galwah), which reminded me of his interesting story.
Galois was some kind of math genius in the early 1800s. He was brilliant enough that at the time no one understood any of his work and he couldn't get into the good math schools because they thought his work was nonsense, and 200 years later it's taught to every graduate pure math student in the world. What's more remarkable is that he did his research in his teens. He died when he was 20, and he understood and contributed more than nearly any other mathematician who ever lived, and most of them lived full lives. Sure, there are your giants like Euler (pronounced Oiler) who surely did more than Galois, but not many did.
He was 20. I'm 25. It's just crazy to me that he "made up," or discovered, or whatever you want to call it, so much about modern algebra that I don't begin to understand the scope of it, and he died at 20. What could he have done if he had lived to be 50?
Galois died in a duel. It's not known exactly why he was in the duel, but it was apparently over a girl. He was in love with some girl who I guess he had a history with, but she was engaged to someone else (who may or may not have been who he dueled, we don't know). I heard a really dramatic version of the story, but I don't remember the details and apparently most of it is speculation. It was a gun duel, unfortunately. For some reason I often picture it as a sword fight which would have been more epic, I think. Anyway, all that's really known is he was shot at age 20 in a duel, and he had a pretty strong feeling he'd lose, so he spent most of his last night trying to compile all of his theory. A later mathematician said that what he wrote that night, "if judged by the novelty and profundity of ideas it contains, is perhaps the most substantial piece of writing in the whole literature of mankind." Pretty remarkable for a 20-year-old.
Galois was a lot smarter than me, but I guess at least I know not to fight a duel to the death when I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose. Sharayah was wondering what weapon I would use to fight a duel for her. First of all I'd avoid a gun duel. I guess I'm not great with a sword either. I suppose when it comes down to it there's only one type of duel I'm sure I'd win, so I guess that's what I'd have to challenge my opponent to: a thumb war. I haven't lost a thumb war since I was probably 10 years old. In 10th grade I won a thumb war tournament (thumb tournament?) at my high school. I had to beat the quarterback in the finals, his hands were huge, but I prevailed. Probably I wouldn't even have to do the duel, because my reputation would precede me and the guy would forfeit and run away. I would obliterate anyone in a thumb war, and then I would take my prize (the korean) and walk away with my head held high.
the noise inside
Galois was some kind of math genius in the early 1800s. He was brilliant enough that at the time no one understood any of his work and he couldn't get into the good math schools because they thought his work was nonsense, and 200 years later it's taught to every graduate pure math student in the world. What's more remarkable is that he did his research in his teens. He died when he was 20, and he understood and contributed more than nearly any other mathematician who ever lived, and most of them lived full lives. Sure, there are your giants like Euler (pronounced Oiler) who surely did more than Galois, but not many did.
He was 20. I'm 25. It's just crazy to me that he "made up," or discovered, or whatever you want to call it, so much about modern algebra that I don't begin to understand the scope of it, and he died at 20. What could he have done if he had lived to be 50?
Galois died in a duel. It's not known exactly why he was in the duel, but it was apparently over a girl. He was in love with some girl who I guess he had a history with, but she was engaged to someone else (who may or may not have been who he dueled, we don't know). I heard a really dramatic version of the story, but I don't remember the details and apparently most of it is speculation. It was a gun duel, unfortunately. For some reason I often picture it as a sword fight which would have been more epic, I think. Anyway, all that's really known is he was shot at age 20 in a duel, and he had a pretty strong feeling he'd lose, so he spent most of his last night trying to compile all of his theory. A later mathematician said that what he wrote that night, "if judged by the novelty and profundity of ideas it contains, is perhaps the most substantial piece of writing in the whole literature of mankind." Pretty remarkable for a 20-year-old.
Galois was a lot smarter than me, but I guess at least I know not to fight a duel to the death when I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose. Sharayah was wondering what weapon I would use to fight a duel for her. First of all I'd avoid a gun duel. I guess I'm not great with a sword either. I suppose when it comes down to it there's only one type of duel I'm sure I'd win, so I guess that's what I'd have to challenge my opponent to: a thumb war. I haven't lost a thumb war since I was probably 10 years old. In 10th grade I won a thumb war tournament (thumb tournament?) at my high school. I had to beat the quarterback in the finals, his hands were huge, but I prevailed. Probably I wouldn't even have to do the duel, because my reputation would precede me and the guy would forfeit and run away. I would obliterate anyone in a thumb war, and then I would take my prize (the korean) and walk away with my head held high.
the noise inside
4.30.2011
pocket change
I can't believe tomorrow is the first day of May. That's crazy. I'll be glad when April is over though. It's been a really long month. I always find it weird how time is so inconsistent in how it feels. Like, April feels like it's been going on forever. I can remember the first of the month and it feels like that was an eternity ago. So much and yet so little has happened during this month. On the other hand, I feel like we just moved up here, even though it's been over 9 months. That means we've been up here for 3/4 of a year. How does that make sense? Another example is that ORU's 2011 graduation is happening today. That means that 1 year ago, I finally graduated. It feels so long ago, at least 2 years ago (I even just checked the calendar to make sure it was last year and not the year before). Time feels weird. Inconsistent. I have this disconcerting thought that the inconsistencies are only going to get worse as I get older.
As a side note, many balloons and whistles for David. In a few more hours, he will be officially graduated. That's pretty crazy. I remember when he came to ORU for a college weekend. I can't remember exactly what year that was, but it was most definitely a long time ago. Jason said that he would introduce his little brother to me, but the promise was never carried out. I was disappointed. I wanted to see who this kid was that Jason was always going on about. At some point, Jason finally admitted that he liked me better, albeit in a different way, than David. I knew then that Jason had found his soon-to-be wife. :) So anyway, hooray for my sister, David. He's going to totally own med school.
I have really enjoyed the changing of seasons up here. Delaware actually has 4 seasons! Leaves actually change colors in the fall, and then they stay on the trees for longer than a week so you can enjoy the world in all of it's autumny splendor. When the leaves have finally fallen off (one, two months after they've changed color?), the temperatures are cold and wintery. Snow falls. Winds bluster. Winter arrives. It snowed often enough that my insides were completely satisfied with the length of time the ground was covered in glorious whiteness. No snowman was left unmade. And then, right when you think you may be ready for a change of scenery, spring arrives. It has been so neat watching everything come alive. In Tulsa I always felt like you could miss spring. Like, if you stayed inside for a few days in a row, spring could happen and be over without you even knowing. I'm pretty sure this must have happened to me more than a few times while we lived in Tulsa because I only remember one year that I actually got to see everything (all 10 of the trees) in bloom. It made me super excited to see little buds or flowers on the previously bare trees. However, less than a week later, the buds and flowers were already completely replaced by ordinary green leaves. So far in Delaware, it has been spring for about a month now, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. There's no way you can miss spring here. It's fascinating how spring is like fall in reverse. Seriously. The trees seem to bud (both with flowers and tiny little leaves) in the same color that they shed their leaves 6 months ago. There was a point when, with all of the fall colored buds, it looked like fall again. So neat. Now it's almost May so a lot of trees have their great big green leaves, but some trees still have their spring flowers and colors. You can see the green leaves overtaking everything though. I'd probably give it another week or so. Spring is glorious.
A couple random cardinal facts: They mate for life. The guy cardinal will often find a perfectly lovely seed and will hop over to give it to his wife. They'll turn their heads to opposite sides and he'll place it in her beak. It's sweet.
Panther is such an odd duck. Recently he's decided that he likes to sleep on a pile of sweats that we have piled on the floor by our closet. Why are sweats piled on the floor? I don't really know actually. Perhaps it's our tribute to winter being over. Perhaps it's a residual load of laundry that never quite made it to the wash. Perhaps we like navigating to our bathroom in an obstacle-course-type fashion. Whatever the reason, the pile is there and Panther likes to sleep there. The funny part is that he matches in with the pile (it's mostly dark clothing) so I usually nearly trip over him if I'm not paying attention.
Dimes are my favorite coins. I like that they are the smallest and thinnest coin. Oh, and they're shiny. Way better than pennies, or even quarters. You know it's true.
On the topic of cats, I sometimes have a horrible indirect thought. It's truly awful. I should be banned from cat ownership for indirectly thinking it. The direct thought? I wish Puma had a little kitten buddy to play with. Panther is such a grumpy pants. The only normal cat thing that he does is sleep for 20 hours a day. He will also curl up on you if it's an inconvenient time to do so. Oh, and he will ask for food. But honestly, that's it. He doesn't play. He doesn't scamper. He turns bird stalking into... not stalking. Puma, on the other hand, is such a cat cat. I love him so much. He plays whenever he's not sleeping. Even if he is sleeping, if you make any subtle movement that indicates playing, he'll rise to the occasion. He is neverendingly curious. He has such personality. Even though all of his traits aren't necessarily positive, they work within the realm of cats. He's super affectionate, even though his affections come with the slight tinge of cat-ish self-centeredness. He's such a great cat and I wish I could give him a playmate. A new kitten. Someone that will actually play with him instead of complaining at him all the time. Someone with enough spirit and energy that will put Puma in his place (initially with tiny kitten claws, and eventually with teenage cat strength) when he's being grumpy or rough-housing. The problem? Jason and I don't think Panther could tolerate another new animal. It took him about 4 months to "get used to" Puma. We feel it would just be mean to introduce a new kitten to him when he's already old and grumpy. It's a little disappointing though. I want Puma to have an actual playmate while he's still young and playful. I would hate for him to become grumpy and old-man-ish like Panther without ever having that young playful companion. And I feel like Puma would be more likely to remain playful if he had a playful friend. Plus, I think playful animals together are awesome. So the predicament? Yes, sometimes I find myself wishing for the day that we can get a new kitten to play with Puma. But this means that indirectly, I'm wishing for the day that Panther is no longer in the picture. Isn't that awful? As soon as I realize what I'm wishing, I regret it. I don't want Panther to die. I don't. I love the grumpy, all the time gross, black cat. I do. But I do wish he'd be more open to new friends. :/ That's all.
Alright, there are errands to be accomplished and productivity to be had. I shall go.
Would it be cruel to do this to your child?
As a side note, many balloons and whistles for David. In a few more hours, he will be officially graduated. That's pretty crazy. I remember when he came to ORU for a college weekend. I can't remember exactly what year that was, but it was most definitely a long time ago. Jason said that he would introduce his little brother to me, but the promise was never carried out. I was disappointed. I wanted to see who this kid was that Jason was always going on about. At some point, Jason finally admitted that he liked me better, albeit in a different way, than David. I knew then that Jason had found his soon-to-be wife. :) So anyway, hooray for my sister, David. He's going to totally own med school.
I have really enjoyed the changing of seasons up here. Delaware actually has 4 seasons! Leaves actually change colors in the fall, and then they stay on the trees for longer than a week so you can enjoy the world in all of it's autumny splendor. When the leaves have finally fallen off (one, two months after they've changed color?), the temperatures are cold and wintery. Snow falls. Winds bluster. Winter arrives. It snowed often enough that my insides were completely satisfied with the length of time the ground was covered in glorious whiteness. No snowman was left unmade. And then, right when you think you may be ready for a change of scenery, spring arrives. It has been so neat watching everything come alive. In Tulsa I always felt like you could miss spring. Like, if you stayed inside for a few days in a row, spring could happen and be over without you even knowing. I'm pretty sure this must have happened to me more than a few times while we lived in Tulsa because I only remember one year that I actually got to see everything (all 10 of the trees) in bloom. It made me super excited to see little buds or flowers on the previously bare trees. However, less than a week later, the buds and flowers were already completely replaced by ordinary green leaves. So far in Delaware, it has been spring for about a month now, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. There's no way you can miss spring here. It's fascinating how spring is like fall in reverse. Seriously. The trees seem to bud (both with flowers and tiny little leaves) in the same color that they shed their leaves 6 months ago. There was a point when, with all of the fall colored buds, it looked like fall again. So neat. Now it's almost May so a lot of trees have their great big green leaves, but some trees still have their spring flowers and colors. You can see the green leaves overtaking everything though. I'd probably give it another week or so. Spring is glorious.
A couple random cardinal facts: They mate for life. The guy cardinal will often find a perfectly lovely seed and will hop over to give it to his wife. They'll turn their heads to opposite sides and he'll place it in her beak. It's sweet.
Panther is such an odd duck. Recently he's decided that he likes to sleep on a pile of sweats that we have piled on the floor by our closet. Why are sweats piled on the floor? I don't really know actually. Perhaps it's our tribute to winter being over. Perhaps it's a residual load of laundry that never quite made it to the wash. Perhaps we like navigating to our bathroom in an obstacle-course-type fashion. Whatever the reason, the pile is there and Panther likes to sleep there. The funny part is that he matches in with the pile (it's mostly dark clothing) so I usually nearly trip over him if I'm not paying attention.
Dimes are my favorite coins. I like that they are the smallest and thinnest coin. Oh, and they're shiny. Way better than pennies, or even quarters. You know it's true.
On the topic of cats, I sometimes have a horrible indirect thought. It's truly awful. I should be banned from cat ownership for indirectly thinking it. The direct thought? I wish Puma had a little kitten buddy to play with. Panther is such a grumpy pants. The only normal cat thing that he does is sleep for 20 hours a day. He will also curl up on you if it's an inconvenient time to do so. Oh, and he will ask for food. But honestly, that's it. He doesn't play. He doesn't scamper. He turns bird stalking into... not stalking. Puma, on the other hand, is such a cat cat. I love him so much. He plays whenever he's not sleeping. Even if he is sleeping, if you make any subtle movement that indicates playing, he'll rise to the occasion. He is neverendingly curious. He has such personality. Even though all of his traits aren't necessarily positive, they work within the realm of cats. He's super affectionate, even though his affections come with the slight tinge of cat-ish self-centeredness. He's such a great cat and I wish I could give him a playmate. A new kitten. Someone that will actually play with him instead of complaining at him all the time. Someone with enough spirit and energy that will put Puma in his place (initially with tiny kitten claws, and eventually with teenage cat strength) when he's being grumpy or rough-housing. The problem? Jason and I don't think Panther could tolerate another new animal. It took him about 4 months to "get used to" Puma. We feel it would just be mean to introduce a new kitten to him when he's already old and grumpy. It's a little disappointing though. I want Puma to have an actual playmate while he's still young and playful. I would hate for him to become grumpy and old-man-ish like Panther without ever having that young playful companion. And I feel like Puma would be more likely to remain playful if he had a playful friend. Plus, I think playful animals together are awesome. So the predicament? Yes, sometimes I find myself wishing for the day that we can get a new kitten to play with Puma. But this means that indirectly, I'm wishing for the day that Panther is no longer in the picture. Isn't that awful? As soon as I realize what I'm wishing, I regret it. I don't want Panther to die. I don't. I love the grumpy, all the time gross, black cat. I do. But I do wish he'd be more open to new friends. :/ That's all.
Alright, there are errands to be accomplished and productivity to be had. I shall go.
Would it be cruel to do this to your child?
4.28.2011
Vacation, come quickly.
These have been a tough few months. Besides life, school has been harder than ever and much of the time I feel like I'm barely staying above water. It's a strange feeling knowing how much I know about math, probably more than 99.99% of people in the world, and then also understanding that I really just don't know anything compared to how much there is to know. Trying to get a PhD is a good way to spend a lot of time feeling like you just don't know anything.
I need a vacation.
My parents have some sort of Marriott vacation credit that was going to expire before they had a chance to use it, since they're going on David's graduation cruise this summer and won't have enough vacation time to also use the Marriott thing. So my awesome parents said Sharayah and I could use it. Basically you go on this website and there are lots of resorts and you just pick the location and date that you want. Since I only have a week off between finals and my research fellowship, the time was decided for us. So we got to go through all the various locations and pick one. We ended up choosing a place in Williamsburg, Virginia. We'll be staying at Williamsburg Plantation, which I hope is not really a plantation, or at least I don't want to work the fields.
We're getting 7 day passes good for Busch Gardens (the theme park), Water Country USA, and Colonial Williamsburg, which I guess is a part of town where they pretend it's still colonial times and I guess they have a new female blacksmith? I can't remember what that's from. Anyway. There are also parks and lakes and minigolf and horse trails and other things. We'll probably go out on a row boat and maybe go fishing. We'd also be in range of Virginia Beach. Lots of cool things. Probably we will put more details on here sometime later.
David is graduating this weekend. We can't go because ORU apparently ends in April now? And my semester didn't start til the second week of February, so I still have 3 weeks left. Anyway it's pretty cool for him, and he's gonna go to med school and learn to save lives while I ponder about the nature of numbers and things that are like numbers but are they really numbers and what are their properties, and do they retain unique factorization into irreducibles? But anyway, I am sleepy and I think maybe there's some ice cream and a movie in it for me if I end here, so I will go now.
but we were unaware
I need a vacation.
My parents have some sort of Marriott vacation credit that was going to expire before they had a chance to use it, since they're going on David's graduation cruise this summer and won't have enough vacation time to also use the Marriott thing. So my awesome parents said Sharayah and I could use it. Basically you go on this website and there are lots of resorts and you just pick the location and date that you want. Since I only have a week off between finals and my research fellowship, the time was decided for us. So we got to go through all the various locations and pick one. We ended up choosing a place in Williamsburg, Virginia. We'll be staying at Williamsburg Plantation, which I hope is not really a plantation, or at least I don't want to work the fields.
We're getting 7 day passes good for Busch Gardens (the theme park), Water Country USA, and Colonial Williamsburg, which I guess is a part of town where they pretend it's still colonial times and I guess they have a new female blacksmith? I can't remember what that's from. Anyway. There are also parks and lakes and minigolf and horse trails and other things. We'll probably go out on a row boat and maybe go fishing. We'd also be in range of Virginia Beach. Lots of cool things. Probably we will put more details on here sometime later.
David is graduating this weekend. We can't go because ORU apparently ends in April now? And my semester didn't start til the second week of February, so I still have 3 weeks left. Anyway it's pretty cool for him, and he's gonna go to med school and learn to save lives while I ponder about the nature of numbers and things that are like numbers but are they really numbers and what are their properties, and do they retain unique factorization into irreducibles? But anyway, I am sleepy and I think maybe there's some ice cream and a movie in it for me if I end here, so I will go now.
but we were unaware
4.27.2011
the almost title-less post
I think Wednesdays are inherently long days. Perhaps it's because they mark the middle of the week. Maybe Wednesdays have to be long and drawn out because once it's over, the rest of the week seems to just disappear. Maybe, secretly, Wednesdays have 25 hours and we're being unknowingly shorted on our Weekend Hours. I will have to look into this.
Wednesday's are particularly long this school semester because Jason is gone from 8am to nearly 6pm. Unpleasant. I miss him for pretty much 8 of those 10 hours (I figure I can't honestly say I am consciously missing him when I'm distracted by bird watching and animal gazing and such).
The PhD pursuit has been particularly difficult this semester. Between attending classes and seminars, neverending homework assignments, and just an overall rough April, Jason can't seem to catch a break of any sort. It makes my insides sad to see him get so caught up in the stress and frustration of it all. I've never been a very good encourager, so I'm not much good in that category. I can attempt to make him tasty things to eat, but my imagination and skill can only go so far. And how can you justify taking someone's mind off of something that is so long term? I greatly dislike not being able to fix someone else's insides. I can't wait until he finishes out this semester. I know he can/will do it. I don't doubt it at all. But how can you convince someone that you know the future? I can try to play the asian card, but I'm afraid he will say it does not apply*. Anyway, all this to say that Jason is the smartest, handsomest, most capable person I know. And I love him. You can do it, babe.
Sometimes it's fun to think of certain aspects of life as a video game. In my case, I have Backyard Birds: Attack of the Hungries. It's pretty amazing. Basically, the storyline is about a small Korean (you can actually pick your own race, gender, etc) who just moved to Delaware (you can also pick your own location at the beginning of the game, which determines the variety of birds available) who is given the opportunity to raise a successful bird habitat. She has various tasks to perform each day to ensure the attraction of new bird flocks and increase of their visit frequency. She is given 1 bag of birdseed to accomplish her mission. When you first start the game, only small birds show up on the Patio. Over time, if you do the right tasks at the right time, you will get upgraded to higher leveled birds. I started off with fluff ball Juncos and have moved on through the ranks of Redinals, Badger Heads, Tall Ones, Meanies, and Rock Spots. My greatest achievement happened the other day. I got upgraded to the epic Purple Chicken**! Obviously, it's not all fun and games. For instance, you have to keep the Wild Indoor Animals from scaring the birds away too frequently. However, if you're really good at Backyard Birds, you'll make your feathered visitors so happy and comfortable that they'll go through their courtship rituals right in front of you. I'm about a month into this game and so far, so good. I predict a lot of happy baby tweeters in the near future. Yes, I am that good at this game. Anyway, if you're looking for a fun, varying, educational way to pass time, BB:AotH is the way to go. Oh the things you can do with a bag of birdseed...
In 13 days, Jason and I will have been married for 3 years. That's, ridiculous. Being married does weird things to your head. I feel like I've been married forever, in such a good way. It's hard to think of pre-Jason years. I mean, sure, obviously he wasn't a part of my pre-college years, but if I don't actually think about the details, it feels like he was. He's so good for me. Jason doesn't finish the school year until May 25th so there's no chance of fitting in any type of Anniversary vacation on or around May 10th. However, we do have something planned for the entire time between when he finishes and when he has to be back for his summer research project. I'm not going to go into details yet because Jason is going to cover it somewhat the next time he writes***. But suffice it to say, it has earned the title of "The Vacation: 2011." Chew on that for a while. I.love.Jason.Robert.Vermette.
Let's see, one last random topic. Jason and I went to a Winter Jam concert a long while ago. Winter Jam is linked with Holt International. Holt International is the agency I was adopted through. While we were at the concert, we decided to sponsor a little South Korean girl. Enter Hui. Cho, Hui Bok to be exact. She was a replica of me 24 years ago. So, so cute. I wanted to eat her, if eating was an acceptable way to show how enraptured you are with a baby. It was a neat connection. We only got to sponsor her for a few months before a family adopted her, which was happy but also a tiny bit sad. In her place they sent us our next sponsor child, Raymonde from Haiti. A little while ago, we decided we wanted to sponsor 2 kids so... enter Zu. A few days ago we got the information packet for Xu, Zu Fen. She's an adorable little 7-year-old from China. She looks ridiculously sweet. In the picture we received of her, she's wearing a pink shirt with a fluffy gray cat on it. It could be a characterized Puma. Whenever I look at her picture, I just wish I could keep her and give her a home and fluffy cats and teach her to dance. But since I cannot, I suppose I shall just pray for a family for her who can.
Listen to David Crowder's "The Glory of It All." That's all.
To summarize all of these completely unrelated ramblings:
- I'm not a fan of Wednesdays.
- Purple Chickens are not the peak of the iceberg, but they're pretty close.
- Marriage = incredible beyond words.
- Holt International: Good organization.
Try not to laugh at the following series of pictures. And just hear "OBOY OBOY HERE I GO HYUP HYUP LEMMIE ATTEM HERP DERP" inside your head as you gaze on in wonder.
*The asian card always applies.
**Accurate names are not guaranteed.
***Now that I've set him up, he has to blog sometime soon. :)
Wednesday's are particularly long this school semester because Jason is gone from 8am to nearly 6pm. Unpleasant. I miss him for pretty much 8 of those 10 hours (I figure I can't honestly say I am consciously missing him when I'm distracted by bird watching and animal gazing and such).
The PhD pursuit has been particularly difficult this semester. Between attending classes and seminars, neverending homework assignments, and just an overall rough April, Jason can't seem to catch a break of any sort. It makes my insides sad to see him get so caught up in the stress and frustration of it all. I've never been a very good encourager, so I'm not much good in that category. I can attempt to make him tasty things to eat, but my imagination and skill can only go so far. And how can you justify taking someone's mind off of something that is so long term? I greatly dislike not being able to fix someone else's insides. I can't wait until he finishes out this semester. I know he can/will do it. I don't doubt it at all. But how can you convince someone that you know the future? I can try to play the asian card, but I'm afraid he will say it does not apply*. Anyway, all this to say that Jason is the smartest, handsomest, most capable person I know. And I love him. You can do it, babe.
Sometimes it's fun to think of certain aspects of life as a video game. In my case, I have Backyard Birds: Attack of the Hungries. It's pretty amazing. Basically, the storyline is about a small Korean (you can actually pick your own race, gender, etc) who just moved to Delaware (you can also pick your own location at the beginning of the game, which determines the variety of birds available) who is given the opportunity to raise a successful bird habitat. She has various tasks to perform each day to ensure the attraction of new bird flocks and increase of their visit frequency. She is given 1 bag of birdseed to accomplish her mission. When you first start the game, only small birds show up on the Patio. Over time, if you do the right tasks at the right time, you will get upgraded to higher leveled birds. I started off with fluff ball Juncos and have moved on through the ranks of Redinals, Badger Heads, Tall Ones, Meanies, and Rock Spots. My greatest achievement happened the other day. I got upgraded to the epic Purple Chicken**! Obviously, it's not all fun and games. For instance, you have to keep the Wild Indoor Animals from scaring the birds away too frequently. However, if you're really good at Backyard Birds, you'll make your feathered visitors so happy and comfortable that they'll go through their courtship rituals right in front of you. I'm about a month into this game and so far, so good. I predict a lot of happy baby tweeters in the near future. Yes, I am that good at this game. Anyway, if you're looking for a fun, varying, educational way to pass time, BB:AotH is the way to go. Oh the things you can do with a bag of birdseed...
In 13 days, Jason and I will have been married for 3 years. That's, ridiculous. Being married does weird things to your head. I feel like I've been married forever, in such a good way. It's hard to think of pre-Jason years. I mean, sure, obviously he wasn't a part of my pre-college years, but if I don't actually think about the details, it feels like he was. He's so good for me. Jason doesn't finish the school year until May 25th so there's no chance of fitting in any type of Anniversary vacation on or around May 10th. However, we do have something planned for the entire time between when he finishes and when he has to be back for his summer research project. I'm not going to go into details yet because Jason is going to cover it somewhat the next time he writes***. But suffice it to say, it has earned the title of "The Vacation: 2011." Chew on that for a while. I.love.Jason.Robert.Vermette.
Let's see, one last random topic. Jason and I went to a Winter Jam concert a long while ago. Winter Jam is linked with Holt International. Holt International is the agency I was adopted through. While we were at the concert, we decided to sponsor a little South Korean girl. Enter Hui. Cho, Hui Bok to be exact. She was a replica of me 24 years ago. So, so cute. I wanted to eat her, if eating was an acceptable way to show how enraptured you are with a baby. It was a neat connection. We only got to sponsor her for a few months before a family adopted her, which was happy but also a tiny bit sad. In her place they sent us our next sponsor child, Raymonde from Haiti. A little while ago, we decided we wanted to sponsor 2 kids so... enter Zu. A few days ago we got the information packet for Xu, Zu Fen. She's an adorable little 7-year-old from China. She looks ridiculously sweet. In the picture we received of her, she's wearing a pink shirt with a fluffy gray cat on it. It could be a characterized Puma. Whenever I look at her picture, I just wish I could keep her and give her a home and fluffy cats and teach her to dance. But since I cannot, I suppose I shall just pray for a family for her who can.
Listen to David Crowder's "The Glory of It All." That's all.
To summarize all of these completely unrelated ramblings:
- I'm not a fan of Wednesdays.
- Purple Chickens are not the peak of the iceberg, but they're pretty close.
- Marriage = incredible beyond words.
- Holt International: Good organization.
Try not to laugh at the following series of pictures. And just hear "OBOY OBOY HERE I GO HYUP HYUP LEMMIE ATTEM HERP DERP" inside your head as you gaze on in wonder.
*The asian card always applies.
**Accurate names are not guaranteed.
***Now that I've set him up, he has to blog sometime soon. :)
4.17.2011
sunday ramblings.
I like writing things just because. I rarely need a particular reason or topic. I just like letting some of my head out through my fingers. That's all. Really. Since I'm aware of this, I'm also aware of the fact that what I write has a tendency to be strings of seemingly unrelated things that carry no importance or meaning to anyone but me. I feel like I should apologize for this since this is a public blog and boring/confusing people isn't a very nice thing to do. However, in lieu of an apology, I'll offer this suggestion: "The following post is of no importance. Feel free to not read." There, now that my conscience is relieved, my writing will commence.
At this point, the only thing I think Delaware lacks is the ability to produce a good thunderstorm (and possibly a good whole foods type market). Other than that, I feel completely satisfied and content here. It's a nice feeling.
Weather is so peaceful in Delaware. I love sitting at my desk with the back sliding door open and just, listening. It's simultaneously a huge distraction and motivation when I'm trying to be productive. I can either listen to hours upon hours of raindrops, bird chatter, or rustling leaves. It is better than almost any of my Pandora stations (though Jason's David Crowder station is a tough competitor). Sometimes I forget how much listening to nature can calm my insides. It's a good Sunday.
If Jason and I were birds, I think we'd be cardinals. While I've been bonding with the cats by participating in their bird stalking (it is seriously addicting), I've noticed a few similarities between us and cardinals that I think would help make our transfer from human to bird smoother. Sure, there's the obvious fact that the guy is very attractive and eye-catching ('nough said) and the fact that the girl has a yellowish-brown tint (*insert brief explanation of racial [asian] skin coloring*). But besides that, I've noticed that cardinal pairs seem to need/want each other more than other birds (that is, compared to the other species in our backyard-ish area). The male typically arrives first to eat our generously tossed birdseed/bread crumbs. After a few seconds of cautious pecking, he will start calling for his mate (in between each bite, of course [he is male after all]). Peck, chirp, peck, chirp, peck, chirp. He will do this until his mate comes to join him. It doesn't matter if she comes within a few seconds or within a few minutes, he will call until she comes and then immediately stop. They will then eat in silence. It fascinates me for some reason. It's not like the male cardinal is calling to all birds that there is good feeding available. He just wants his mate to come join him. And she does. And as soon as they're both together, they're happy. And for some reason, it makes me inexplicably happy too.
They were doing baptisms at church today. It all had a very triumphant feel. It was good. Something I noticed was that the church provided everyone with shirts and shorts. My church didn't do that when I was baptized. I think my siblings and I all wore swimsuits underneath big, white t-shirts (possibly dad's old undershirts or just some over-sized shirts found on sale at Target?). Of course, I could be remembering my debut as a very non-prominent angel in a church Christmas play... It's hard to tell. Everything between the ages of 6 and 12 is kinda blurry and melded together. I wish I had consistently journaled back then. Anyway, because of the baptisms, the church service was done in a semi-reverse fashion with the message before the praise and worship. One of the things I like about this particular church is how they don't necessarily do everything in a traditional fashion or order. An example would be how they take the offering at the end of the service. We'll see how things go in the upcoming weeks.
This post is getting long so I'll just quickly throw out the following thoughts. Our stainless steel rice cooker is incredible, just further proving (to no one in particular) that stainless steel is >> stupid "non-stick." I still desperately need a haircut. I cannot win a game of foosball to save my life. I know there are only a handful of things to keep focus on to win, but I just can't seem to do it. Puma is absolutely adorable when he's sleeping. He's such a deceptive little fellow, but it just makes me love him more somehow. I feel like this doesn't make sense. Easter seems to be unusually late-coming this year. The tower of boxes that we've stacked for the cats' enjoyment is now 6 stories high. If Jason had pillow-hands, he would sleep on them. Chris Rice's song "Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)" is really good. As is "Everything Falls" by Fee.
Sorrow may last for the night
But hope is rising with the sun
It's rising with the sun
There will be storms in this life
But I know You will overcome
When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find You mighty and strong
You keep holding on
Good, good words.
I have a lot of other rambling things all squashed up inside my head, but I think I'll call it a day for now. So, summary!
- My fingers tend to type things that should hold the interest of no one but me.
- Peaceful insides can occur with or without thunderstorms.
- Jason does need a red tuft to be a cardinal.
- Water baptisms = !
PS: While I recognize that all things asian are awesome goes without saying, these asian silkie chickens are awesome + 2. Please look at their feet and squeal. Thank you. Anyone think these would be incredible pets for currently unborn little Vermettes?
At this point, the only thing I think Delaware lacks is the ability to produce a good thunderstorm (and possibly a good whole foods type market). Other than that, I feel completely satisfied and content here. It's a nice feeling.
Weather is so peaceful in Delaware. I love sitting at my desk with the back sliding door open and just, listening. It's simultaneously a huge distraction and motivation when I'm trying to be productive. I can either listen to hours upon hours of raindrops, bird chatter, or rustling leaves. It is better than almost any of my Pandora stations (though Jason's David Crowder station is a tough competitor). Sometimes I forget how much listening to nature can calm my insides. It's a good Sunday.
If Jason and I were birds, I think we'd be cardinals. While I've been bonding with the cats by participating in their bird stalking (it is seriously addicting), I've noticed a few similarities between us and cardinals that I think would help make our transfer from human to bird smoother. Sure, there's the obvious fact that the guy is very attractive and eye-catching ('nough said) and the fact that the girl has a yellowish-brown tint (*insert brief explanation of racial [asian] skin coloring*). But besides that, I've noticed that cardinal pairs seem to need/want each other more than other birds (that is, compared to the other species in our backyard-ish area). The male typically arrives first to eat our generously tossed birdseed/bread crumbs. After a few seconds of cautious pecking, he will start calling for his mate (in between each bite, of course [he is male after all]). Peck, chirp, peck, chirp, peck, chirp. He will do this until his mate comes to join him. It doesn't matter if she comes within a few seconds or within a few minutes, he will call until she comes and then immediately stop. They will then eat in silence. It fascinates me for some reason. It's not like the male cardinal is calling to all birds that there is good feeding available. He just wants his mate to come join him. And she does. And as soon as they're both together, they're happy. And for some reason, it makes me inexplicably happy too.
They were doing baptisms at church today. It all had a very triumphant feel. It was good. Something I noticed was that the church provided everyone with shirts and shorts. My church didn't do that when I was baptized. I think my siblings and I all wore swimsuits underneath big, white t-shirts (possibly dad's old undershirts or just some over-sized shirts found on sale at Target?). Of course, I could be remembering my debut as a very non-prominent angel in a church Christmas play... It's hard to tell. Everything between the ages of 6 and 12 is kinda blurry and melded together. I wish I had consistently journaled back then. Anyway, because of the baptisms, the church service was done in a semi-reverse fashion with the message before the praise and worship. One of the things I like about this particular church is how they don't necessarily do everything in a traditional fashion or order. An example would be how they take the offering at the end of the service. We'll see how things go in the upcoming weeks.
This post is getting long so I'll just quickly throw out the following thoughts. Our stainless steel rice cooker is incredible, just further proving (to no one in particular) that stainless steel is >> stupid "non-stick." I still desperately need a haircut. I cannot win a game of foosball to save my life. I know there are only a handful of things to keep focus on to win, but I just can't seem to do it. Puma is absolutely adorable when he's sleeping. He's such a deceptive little fellow, but it just makes me love him more somehow. I feel like this doesn't make sense. Easter seems to be unusually late-coming this year. The tower of boxes that we've stacked for the cats' enjoyment is now 6 stories high. If Jason had pillow-hands, he would sleep on them. Chris Rice's song "Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)" is really good. As is "Everything Falls" by Fee.
Sorrow may last for the night
But hope is rising with the sun
It's rising with the sun
There will be storms in this life
But I know You will overcome
When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find You mighty and strong
You keep holding on
Good, good words.
I have a lot of other rambling things all squashed up inside my head, but I think I'll call it a day for now. So, summary!
- My fingers tend to type things that should hold the interest of no one but me.
- Peaceful insides can occur with or without thunderstorms.
- Jason does need a red tuft to be a cardinal.
- Water baptisms = !
PS: While I recognize that all things asian are awesome goes without saying, these asian silkie chickens are awesome + 2. Please look at their feet and squeal. Thank you. Anyone think these would be incredible pets for currently unborn little Vermettes?
4.16.2011
The first nerdy math post.
Tonight we're having the homemade egg rolls from the "Us in 64 Words" section. It's very exciting.
Some good news school-wise. I got a 10 week research fellowship for the summer. We will be trying to answer the question "Which graphs are determined by their spectrum?" I will attempt to explain it in layman's terms, mainly because it might be funny.
Basically, in a branch of math called combinatorics, we study something called graph theory. These graphs are different than those old "x vs y" plot graphs you remember from middle/high school. Actually, they may seem a little easier to understand. In graph theory, graphs are just a set of points, some of which are connected, and some of which are not. So basically, a bunch of dots with lines connecting some of them. Now, given one of these graphs, we can make a matrix called the adjacency matrix, which is actually just a matrix like you may have seen in algebra 2 or linear algebra. The adjacency matrix tells you, for each dot, which other dots it's connected to (hence adjacency). Now, if you're still with me, in linear algebra you learn that, for a given square matrix, we can find a set of something called eigenvalues. I don't suppose I should explain what those are, but rest assured that given a matrix it's well known how to find its eigenvalues. If the matrix is n x n, meaning it has n columns, each with n entries, then it will have n eigenvalues. This set of n eigenvalues is called the spectrum of the matrix. So the question is this: if you tell me a spectrum, can I tell you what graph it came from, or could there be two graphs that have the same spectrum? So we'll be trying to determine which graphs have which answer.
So that's mostly it. I don't think it should be too difficult to understand the way I wrote that, except maybe that eigenvalue part. Probably what you'd really like me to explain is why anyone would care. I'm afraid that's a more difficult question. At any rate, I'm looking forward to it, and maybe I'll keep you all updated on our progress.
For anyone interested, here's my actual project proposal.
One last math related thing. I guess the math department has an intramural indoor soccer team. So I joined it. We've played one game. It was pretty close, 5-6, but we lost. Now, when I say it was pretty close, I mean that both teams played pretty bad, but it was still fun. I get the impression some of our players are a lot better than they seemed in that game. But then, we are all math nerds (and one geologist) so maybe not. Anyway we have 3 more games, and I think it'll be fun. Any team you can play a really bad game for and still have a good time is a good team, I think.
Well, I think those egg rolls are ready, so I am off.
are we fading?
Some good news school-wise. I got a 10 week research fellowship for the summer. We will be trying to answer the question "Which graphs are determined by their spectrum?" I will attempt to explain it in layman's terms, mainly because it might be funny.
Basically, in a branch of math called combinatorics, we study something called graph theory. These graphs are different than those old "x vs y" plot graphs you remember from middle/high school. Actually, they may seem a little easier to understand. In graph theory, graphs are just a set of points, some of which are connected, and some of which are not. So basically, a bunch of dots with lines connecting some of them. Now, given one of these graphs, we can make a matrix called the adjacency matrix, which is actually just a matrix like you may have seen in algebra 2 or linear algebra. The adjacency matrix tells you, for each dot, which other dots it's connected to (hence adjacency). Now, if you're still with me, in linear algebra you learn that, for a given square matrix, we can find a set of something called eigenvalues. I don't suppose I should explain what those are, but rest assured that given a matrix it's well known how to find its eigenvalues. If the matrix is n x n, meaning it has n columns, each with n entries, then it will have n eigenvalues. This set of n eigenvalues is called the spectrum of the matrix. So the question is this: if you tell me a spectrum, can I tell you what graph it came from, or could there be two graphs that have the same spectrum? So we'll be trying to determine which graphs have which answer.
So that's mostly it. I don't think it should be too difficult to understand the way I wrote that, except maybe that eigenvalue part. Probably what you'd really like me to explain is why anyone would care. I'm afraid that's a more difficult question. At any rate, I'm looking forward to it, and maybe I'll keep you all updated on our progress.
For anyone interested, here's my actual project proposal.
One last math related thing. I guess the math department has an intramural indoor soccer team. So I joined it. We've played one game. It was pretty close, 5-6, but we lost. Now, when I say it was pretty close, I mean that both teams played pretty bad, but it was still fun. I get the impression some of our players are a lot better than they seemed in that game. But then, we are all math nerds (and one geologist) so maybe not. Anyway we have 3 more games, and I think it'll be fun. Any team you can play a really bad game for and still have a good time is a good team, I think.
Well, I think those egg rolls are ready, so I am off.
are we fading?
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